Love Dare - Day 5 - Don't be easily irritable

Folks forgive me for being redundant, but today I was speaking to a lady about how to treat her husband…

Look at what God has revealed to me while I was counseling her…

When you pray and speak with God you make use of extreme reverence: My Lord; My Beloved; Oh, Lord Jesus!

You proceed with upmost respect.

 

But what good is it if when you speak to your husband (who represents Jesus), you don’t even think twice and before you know it….

 

“Shut up!”

“Quit annoying me!”

“Get out of here!”

“You’re a nuisance!”

 

And the list goes on…

I know that many marriages aren’t easy, but do you think these words help?

Perhaps you’ve been seeking to establish a relationship with God for so long but you see no results. You always feel so distant and empty… weak….

 

Make it a point to change this friend- even if you feel your husband doesn’t deserve your respect… the Lord Jesus deserves it!

 

If you want changes in this marriage, don’t wait for him to change… Start changing yourself.

Love Dare – Task 5

 

During this week, choose a good time and ask your husband 3 things that make him to feel uncomfortable or irritable with you. Do not get irritated or try to justify yourself. Only listen!

From then on start a plan of action to change those things that bother him so much.

Love Dare - Day 4 - Be Caring

Sometimes is hard to show that we care.

With so many problems, at times you feel so distant from him, but pay attention at your attitudes…

If he calls, you look at the phone, make that face, turn your eyes up and impatiently answer the phone…

 

These attitudes must change, because they tell him… “Don’t bother me, I don’t have time for you! You are not in my list of priorities! You are not important!

 

We don’t want them to think this way, so that’s why…

Love Dare- Task #4

 

Any time during this week you will call him during the day with no other intention than to know if he is well or if he needs something.

Show that you care.

If you feel comfortable in doing so, tell you love him.

Avoid answering his calls in an impatient tone. Be loving and caring!

(Based on the book Love Dare)

love Dare - Day 3 - Selfishness

Love Dare- Task #3

What you invest your time, energy and money in is what’s most important to you. That in which you do not invest is not as important.

Therefore, together with task #1 (not say negative words) you will purchase something for your spouse that reflects that you were thinking about him. Invest your time, energy and money while choosing the gift.

(Based on the book Love Dare) 

Love Dare - Day 2 - Gentleness

Let’s think about the negative words we tend to say without even thinking about it.

They come in different ways, sometimes as criticism, accusations or even to ridicule!

To help in our love dare, I have prepared a list of dangerous phrases we need to eliminate from our lives!

Here they go:

You never listen!

You always do this!

Let me do it, because you always do it wrong!

You think you know it all!

You are ridiculous!

Don’t even try you won’t get it!

You are boring!

You never know anything!

Look at yourself. Get a life!

The bible teaches us that we need to look and respect our husband as the Lord Jesus.

Now, read the phrases (or any other you usually say to your husband) again and put the name of Jesus in front of it… Just doing that I feel like sinning… May God have mercy on us!

Day 2: Gentleness

“In addition to not saying anything negative like yesterday, today you are going to practice at least one act of unexpected kindness toward your partner.” (Phrase based on the book “Love dare”.)

Now it’s time for you to use your imagination…

Love Dare - Day 1 - Patience

Dear readers,

After receiving so many e-mails and counseling many people with marital problems, I’ve decided to do something different.
Are you facing problems in your marriage?

Would you like your relationship with your husband to be ten times better?

The relationship is not that bad, but could be much better?

So let’s start our love dare!

Well the movie fireproof really inspired me and for the next 40 days you will receive here in this space, little tasks for you to practice.

I want to warn you that it will not be easy but the final result will be worth the effort.

Like I’ve mentioned before, after my salvation, my marriage is what I hold most valuable in my life.
I hope each and every one of you can experience and value such a treasure.

It doesn’t really matter if your husband is converted or not!
This dare is indicated for all those that wish to see a transformation in their relationship.

Remember, you will receive the task today and will need to put it into practice immediately!

Don’t take this for granted!

Day 1: Patience

Day 1 of our Love Dare may be easy to some, but for others this may prove to be a true challenge…


“Tomorrow you will demonstrate patience towards your husband. Make a conscious effort not to say anything negative to him. If the temptation arises, choose to say nothing at all. It is better to hold your tongue then to say something that you will regret later.”
(Based on the book The Love Dare)

Did something make you feel bitter towards your partner?

Were you tempted to say negative words?

How was your day?

Leave your comments... It can be made anonymously, no one will know who you are!

If you have a Bible, it would be great if you read and reflected on James chapter 1.

Would you be interested?

After watching the movie "Fireproof ", I was in love with it.

Decided to buy the book "Love Dare", mentioned in the movie, had not even started reading it and had the idea to translate and post it in my Portuguese blog.

After the 8th day, I got a bit tired of the book and started creating tasks based on my experiences in marriage. 

These 40 days were a blessing to many women in the Portuguese blog and I would like to know if you English speakers would be interested.

I ask this because, if I start it here, I would like to hear from you, hear your comments so others can be blessed and I know that this effort has got results.

I don't constantly update this blog because as I don't have comments from the messages, I assumed that no one reads it and if this is the case... What is the use?

So... If I don't hear from you, I'll assume there is no interest...

Hope somebody reads it...

The First Project

A few weeks after arriving in Namibia, I came to know that our Help Center had begun a project and they needed help.

Immediately I gathered some of the wives of pastors from the nearest churches and we readied ourselves to help.

What was the project?

To provide a few hours of fun to children as well as feed and distribute toys to them in a school located in a deprived area.

How many kids?

Approximately 1000!

Wow, that’s when I suddenly got nervous and wanted to know more details about the organization.

Inflatable toys would be mounted by the company from which they were rented and toys were to be donated by a fast food company.

“What about the food?” I asked

“We’ll have to prepare it but the school will provide a kitchen.”

“Well then, let’s get to work.” I said but inside I was thinking “Oh God!”

But that was the easy part, wait until you see the kitchen provided to us by the school…

More on this next time, don’t miss it!

 

Ironies of Life

I’m going to be sincere with you guys: I used to be one of those people that absolutely hated the Universal Church. 

I found it all to be absurd- the pastors, the members and above all Bishop Macedo.

The newspapers were my allies, my sole source of information given that I had never even step foot in the church.

Today, 18 years later here I am- married to a pastor of the Universal Church and working in Africa! How ironic!

Old friends and family members still can’t manage to understand.

My parents dreamed of me having an entirely different life. Little do they know that if it weren’t for God, whom I found in the Universal Church, they would be visiting me once a year at the cemetery, but I will go into more depth about that later.

I’m on the other side of the coin now and I know through my own experience, what grand work the church does. 

I know about the daily sacrifices not limited to the Campaigns of Israel; the constant revolt against the devil and what he does in people’s lives; the incessant prayers; the ardent desire and struggle to save souls; the constant struggle against physical tiredness, whilst the Spirit wants to do more; the pain of seeing such a vast wheat field and so few workers; and of course the social work aimed to help those suffering in poverty.

We are in Namibia. Few are those who know this country. When we were in London and my husband told me that we would be coming here (he informed me on Wednesday and we were to travel that same Sunday,) I ran for the computer to find out where it was… it is in Africa. It is not the poorest country on the African continent, nonetheless, there is lots of misery and poverty here…

Therefore, in my future posts, I am going to be sharing with you some of my experiences here during these months and I will give you a chance to learn a bit more about Namibia…

Don’t miss out!

Blah, Blah, Blah

At first I was going to church only to please my “Aunt Eliana” (at the time she was just my boyfriend’s mom, now she’s my lovely mother-in-law.)

She constantly invited me to the meetings; most of the time I didn’t want to go but I did so anyway just to stay on her good side.

Nonetheless, my going to church seemed pointless because the pastor’s words were coming in through one ear and out the other.

I was sure that sooner or later she’d get tired of inviting me, but boy was I wrong! Each day she would come up with a better reason…

"Nanda, today is a special day and I would really like it if you accompanied me,”

"Nanda, there’s a very special purpose taking place today. We can’t miss out on it!”

"Nanda, why don’t you join me? I don’t want to go all by myself. I thought that one was a low blow, but of course, I didn’t want to displease her… lol

Despite all of my apparent indifference, there was always a message that stayed with me after the meeting.

Then one day…

“Speak to God… Tell him how much you love him… Tell him that you love him more than anything in your life… more than your friends, more than your dad…”

“No way!” I answered.

Clearly, the pastor that was leading the prayer didn’t hear me.

I remember that was the first time I really spoke to God without repeating or reciting empty words; instead, speaking from within, sincerely.

“God, I can’t say that I love you more than my dad because it isn’t true!

My Dad is my darling, my love! I know who my dad is but I don’t know you Lord!

But you know something God: someday I want to be able to tell you I love you more than anything in my life.

I want to get to know you!”

I never forgot that day or those words.

It was the day I finally decided to take God seriously, it was the day my life really began to change. It was also the last day that Aunt Eliana had to insist on inviting me to church because I decided to do my part in getting to know God.

Shortly thereafter- a day that I will never forget, the day that I remember being able to finally say “My Lord, I love you more than anything in this world, even my dad!”

It was the day of my encounter with God, it was wonderful!

From that moment on I realized how important sincerity is for God.

That is why I am extra careful with my words, especially in church, when we go before the altar to seek His presence.

How many times have you found yourself repeating the pastor’s words without thinking if what you are saying is actually what you feel/believe?

How many are the times that while you are seeking God’s presence, you walk to the front, raise your hands and begin to say lots of words, but your mind is somewhere else: at home, with your kids, your long to-do list, and so your words are completely empty.

Don’t be embarrassed to admit and face reality, for when I am not vigilant I find myself doing this as well!

That’s right, the devil is astute and he doesn’t want us to praise God.

That is why he brings forth the most varied thoughts into our head while we are in prayer. When this happens if you do not resist him, then you end up returning to your seat feeling empty and far from God.

There are times in which we are all in the front seeking God’s presence but I feel troubled or worried about something, so, I open up to God first and let go of what is troubling me. Sometimes, everyone around is already speaking in tongues and I am still there unburdening myself…

Next time you are in the front seeking God’s presence, remember these words and above all, be sincere. Without a doubt you will attract God’s attention.

Look through the Darkness

I arrived to the church full of prejudices because I had heard so many negative things about it. Even without ever having set foot in there, I believed everything that came out in the newspapers.

If it weren’t for my mother-in-law (at the time, my boyfriend’s mother) I would never have gone.

It seems incredible but at the time I really believed I had no problems. How could that be? Not have problems and still be unhappy?

The list of problems was enormous, but they were all inside of me and I couldn’t see them. They were hidden in the darkness…

• ·       Grudges, anger, sorrows. People I couldn’t and didn’t want to forgive.
  
• ·       Anger towards my mother, I hated her.
  
• ·       Fear of the future, much insecurity. I only wanted to think about the here and now.
  
• ·       “I am never getting married!” I would say because I didn’t want to live in “hell.”
  
• ·       “Faithful men don’t exist; therefore, before he betrays me, I’ll do it to him.”
  

Due to these thoughts none of my relationships succeeded.

But these were not apparent problems.

I wasn’t going hungry. I wasn’t sick in a hospital bed. Nonetheless, I was as miserable and ill as all those who were…

It took many meetings and lots of prayers until I could see all of this and understand the reason for not being happy.

Today I know the meaning of happiness.

• ·       I have no sorrow in my heart.
  
• ·       I learned to love, respect and value my mother.
  
• ·       I do not fear the future because I am sure of where I am heading.
  
• ·       I got married! I don’t live in hell; Instead, I enjoy a harmonious and love filled relationship.
  
• ·       Faithful men really do exist, those that fear God. If there is fear of the Lord then there is fidelity.
  

For that reason my life is on the altar. That is why we gave up everything. 

Wherever God sends us we shall go.

My reason to live is to do exactly that: guide people to see their problems, teach them the path that I found in order to overcome them and to be as happy as I am.

How about you, do you want to be happy? Begin by learning to see through the darkness. 

Brainwashed...

After my conversion, I became accustomed to hearing old friends and family members saying how I had suffered a brainwash. 

As a matter of fact I can imagine how many people have heard and continue to hear similar comments.

But do you know what?

They were all right!

Before my encounter with Jesus I used to do, think and say the most awful things!

I was very unhappy, not on the outside, but inside of me.

On the outside I was always smiling, inside always crying.

There were many sorrows and grudges, people that I couldn’t get myself to forgive. There was much sadness, much guilt and nastiness.

After I was converted, baptized and experienced an encounter with my God…

All of the horrible things I used to say and feel disappeared, it was all erased!

The sorrows and grudges vanished. I forgave!

The old Nanda was washed and put out! She gave way to a new Nanda that was better and truly happy.

They are right guys! 

It was indeed a true washing but not limited just to the brain. It was a general wash!

And do you know what else?!

There is nothing better!

Well then, how about a brainwash?

Be Drastic!

“Nanda, let’s go, it will be fun!”

“Renata, I am not up to it, maybe some other time…” was my initial response, not at all assertive in an effort to please her and ease myself out of the situation.

“It’s going to be an amazing night; you’ve always loved this place. We are going to dance the night away!” She insisted. She couldn’t believe that after all this time apart I was not going to go out with her on a Saturday night.

“Listen, I am sorry but I’m not going.”

“Girl, I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Look, I wanted to surprise you but I guess I’m going to have to tell you… Nanda, everyone is gonna be there! I contacted all of our friends; they all miss you like crazy! You have to go!”

“I can’t believe it! Why did you do that?” I asked, hoping it was a joke.

“Nanda we all miss you, it was supposed to be a surprise!”

At that moment I began to despair. "My Lord! What should I do?! If I join my friends for a night out on the town, I will be going against my recently discovered faith! However, if I don’t go, I can kiss goodbye to all of my friends whom I haven’t seen in such a long time. Not to mention that Renata will most certainly hate me… and I really wanted to talk about Jesus to her, show her how different I am now…"

“Ah, you can go…there’s no problem at all! All you have to do is keep to yourself… after all you also miss them. It’s going to be fun and best of all: you won’t disappoint your friends. Do you really think God is going to mind? Where’s the harm in reuniting with some old friends?” It was a voice speaking within me so loudly that it seemed that even Renata could hear it…

“No, no and no!”  I answered with revolt, not knowing if I was talking to Renata or the voice in my head!

“Renata, forgive me but it’s decided. Call them and tell them it’s canceled because I am not going!” Now there was definitely firmness in my voice.

“I know where this is all coming from; it’s that church that brainwashed you! I will never go to that place!” She turned around and left….

Renata was my best friend when I left Brazil in 1995 to live in the United States, where I began to attend the Universal Church and where I converted. The day of this episode was one of the last times I saw her… I was still in the process of converting and had gone to Brazil to visit my parents. It was one of the most difficult moments I had to face, it wasn’t the first or the last and it definitely wasn’t easy.

After she left I felt a tremendous peace. I didn’t feel sad about disappointing my friends. I knew I had made the right choice, but man, only I know how close I was to giving in. That loud “voice” inside my head almost convinced me.

The other day I was watching a movie in which a young guy was being so tempted by pornography on his computer, that he too made a choice… he broke the entire computer into pieces…

There are moments in life in which you must make a drastic move! It doesn’t help to try to go around the situation!

Either you are, or you aren’t!

It is, or it isn’t!

You want it or you don’t!

You go or you stay!

It’s either light or darkness!

There’s no way around it; There’s no middle ground!

Think about this and if you find yourself being tempted... be drastic!

Look Up To Jesus

It took me a long time to understand the meaning of these words ...

Once I started going to church, I looked at everybody ... 

The assitants, pastors, members and even the wives of pastors.

Despite knowing that there is no one perfect, it seemed that even so, I wanted everyone to be perfect, because they were of God!

Then came the disappointments, it was a person who spoke something here, or another one there ...

My mother-in-law was someone who was always very patient with me and helped me a lot during my conversion. 

She always said ... "Always look up to Jesus, people will fail and disappoint you, but Jesus will never disappoint you!"

Folks, it's amazing how we tend to persist in that mistake, or is it just me?

The truth is that generally we look at other people and two things happen:

• We admire and take as an example.

• We look, do not like and put defects.
  

This is where the danger lies ...

If we admire, we want to be like that person and many times feeling inferior to them.

If we look and put defects, we are inevitably putting ourselves in the position to judge or even feel superior.

But what's wrong in admiring someone and have them as an example? 

You must be wondering ...

The answer is that there is no problem as long as we remember that nobody is perfect and that we should not compare ourselves ...

Something happened to me that I will never forget ...

I had been born of God, but had (and still have) many things in me that I wanted to change. 

There was this friend of mine whom I admired because many qualities that I wanted, she had ...

I always compared myself and felt inferior, because in everything I thought she was better ... More patient, calmer, more quiet, more reserved, and so on ...

Until one day I was shocked. She manifested with an evil spirit in the church!

Imagine?!

If she had all the qualities, that seemed to be from God and manifested!

What about me?

It was not easy, it was a very difficult time for me.

The devil made a party in my mind. I found myself face to face with him and all sorts of accusations!

I overcame with an intelligent faith. 

I looked at the fruits in my life and moved on.

Only after this I could understand the true meaning of "Look to Jesus."

I look at him and I always see myself less, and so full of faults, but He never troubles me, always strengthens me!

How wonderful is that?!

How many were those who disappointed you?

How many were the problems in the church?

How many were the assistants, pastors and even bishops who fell in the faith and suddenly you felt lost?

And what about that person you admired so much and disappointed you?

I know it is inevitable that we look at people, but remember, first of all ...

Look up to Jesus, He is perfect and will never disappoint you or let you down!

Looking at him ...

"A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right, but will not come near you"

The day God got angry with me ...

Another day I was very beautiful and splendid making my prayer, when

the scolding came with all fury ...

I said ... "My God, help me, I want to make a difference" ... and

repeated "Oh my God, help me to make a difference"

At that moment came the unexpected answer ...

"Until when will you be praying for me to do something that YOU have to do?!"

"Want to make a difference? Go and do it! Act! Think! Act! "

"Few are those who are acting and many who, like you, are praying and

asking Me to do what THEY have to do!"

It really made me think! 

By the way, I'm sure God loves it when people think instead of doing things

mechanically.

Let us look around us and try to see how many are those who are

really making a difference... At work, at church, in the family,

at home and even in hell!

Less souls in hell means that someone is making a difference right?! 

In situations where nobody stands out, is even easier! Because even

the minimum you do, will be a difference!

Making a difference is not so difficult, because few are doing it, but

also not so easy ... It will require sacrifices ...

Thinking about it, I started with my list (now I have lists for everything!)...

Things you need to do to start making a difference:

1. First of all! Beware of the intentions of your heart. Your desire must be to please God and not to "show off", to draw the attention of someone or to reach a position.
2. Observe, see what nobody wants to do, go ahead and do for Jesus.
   
3. Be available and make yourself available.
   
4. Do things without people having to tell you to do. For this you need to think and see what needs to be done.
5. Do not be lazy! This is very important!
   
6. Escape from routine. The routine can make you lazy did you know?
   
7. Always do more than what you have been asked for. Go the extra mile.

Look at your life. Have you been making a difference in the lives of your

husband and family? In your work? In your church?

All for Jesus?

I'm still compiling my list, but I'm already working at it ... If you have more

things to add, please write your comment ...