Wednesday, 1 April 2009
“Mother, I hate you!”
This was like a routine statement during my adolescence and even into adulthood.
My mum was my monster, my big problem, and the very reason of all that was bad in my life.
I noticed that all my friends’ mothers took great care of their fathers and children, but my mum was so different.
She would not cook, not clean, not even wash her clothes!
The only thing she knew how to cook was chicken stew, her favourite dish by the way, which both my dad and I hated.
Growing up, I was used to my dad’s cooking, cleaning and washing, and for me this was revolting! How could she?!
My dad my hero, my mother… The witch!
Our relationship would get worse day by day, as I could see the differences between my mother and my friend’s mothers.
Many years later…
The other side of the story… My mum’s side…
“I would give my life for her… After giving birth to Nanda, I almost died and was never the same again, almost one year on a comma and so much medication, it took a lot from me, plus the fact that for all that time, I was not with my baby, but my sister who took care of her… Nanda has a bond with her, it is as if she is the mother and I’m the stepmother and I don’t know how to deal with it!”
“I wake up every day at 4:30 in the morning to go to work, so we can afford to pay a good school for her. I leave early and only arrive very late at night”
“I’m so tired, I don’t have time to do anything else, thank God, my husband helps me as his hours are flexible, but even him seems to resent me.”
“After all my efforts, still she doesn’t care or respects me, she shouts and swears at me, but she is my daughter and I love her, I don’t know how to show it, but I do”
“I’m not like the other mothers, who have time to take care of their children, houses and husbands, I work so much and don’t know until when I’ll be able to or have the strength… But I do this for Nanda, so she can have a better life than I have.”
My mum never told me these things…
Only after I had an encounter with God, I could see the other side of the coin. Only then, I could love and understand my mum. He took the blinkers from my eyes!
I could see her side of the story! She was not perfect, but I was not easy either!
That day, I asked her forgiveness, I cried so much, I still remember… It was like a heavy weight being lifted from my back, no more hate, no more grudges! I felt light!
Today, I love and admire her for all she did. We have a great relationship!
Have you ever had a friend complaining to you about another, then you got furious, but when you heard the other side you understood it better?
Yeah, me too…
As the coin has two sides, every story has two sides too, the problem is that we forget, or just don’t want to listen…
What is the other side of your story…?