Friday, 11 September 2009

Look through the Darkness

I arrived to the church full of prejudices because I had heard so many negative things about it. Even without ever having set foot in there, I believed everything that came out in the newspapers.

If it weren’t for my mother-in-law (at the time, my boyfriend’s mother) I would never have gone.

It seems incredible but at the time I really believed I had no problems. How could that be? Not have problems and still be unhappy?

The list of problems was enormous, but they were all inside of me and I couldn’t see them. They were hidden in the darkness…

  • ·       Grudges, anger, sorrows. People I couldn’t and didn’t want to forgive.
  • ·       Anger towards my mother, I hated her.
  • ·       Fear of the future, much insecurity. I only wanted to think about the here and now.
  • ·       “I am never getting married!” I would say because I didn’t want to live in “hell.”
  • ·       “Faithful men don’t exist; therefore, before he betrays me, I’ll do it to him.”

Due to these thoughts none of my relationships succeeded.

But these were not apparent problems.

I wasn’t going hungry. I wasn’t sick in a hospital bed. Nonetheless, I was as miserable and ill as all those who were…

It took many meetings and lots of prayers until I could see all of this and understand the reason for not being happy.

Today I know the meaning of happiness.

  • ·       I have no sorrow in my heart.
  • ·       I learned to love, respect and value my mother.
  • ·       I do not fear the future because I am sure of where I am heading.
  • ·       I got married! I don’t live in hell; Instead, I enjoy a harmonious and love filled relationship.
  • ·       Faithful men really do exist, those that fear God. If there is fear of the Lord then there is fidelity.

For that reason my life is on the altar. That is why we gave up everything. 

Wherever God sends us we shall go.

My reason to live is to do exactly that: guide people to see their problems, teach them the path that I found in order to overcome them and to be as happy as I am.

How about you, do you want to be happy? Begin by learning to see through the darkness. 

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