Recipe for… Getting Rid of your Mother-In-Law

Lyn is a beautiful young lady from China who got married and didn’t have her own home yet, so she lived with her husband in her mother-in-law’s house.

After some time, she noticed that she wasn’t adapting to her mother-in-law.

Their personalities were very different and Lyn got more and more annoyed with her mother-in-law’s habits and customs, who insistently criticized her.

As months passed, things got worse – to the point of making life unbearable.

However, according to ancient Chinese tradition, the daughter-in-law must always be at the mother-in-law’s service and obey her in everything.

But Lyn, unable to bear the idea of living with her mother-in-law any longer, made a decision to go and consult a Master, an old friend of her father.

After listening to the young lady, Master Huang grabbed a bunch of medicinal herbs and said:

“To get rid of your mother-in-law, you must not use them all at once, for that may cause suspicion.

You are going to mix them with her food, little by little, day after day, and she will be poisoned slowly. But, to be sure that when she dies nobody suspects you, you must be very careful to treat her with great kindness. Don’t argue and help her solve her problems.”

Lyn answered: “Thank you Master Huang. I will do everything you recommend.”

Lyn was very happy and returned filled with enthusiasm at the prospect of murdering her mother-in-law.

Over the following weeks, every other day, Lyn would serve her mother-in-law a meal prepared especially for her.

She always remembered Master Huang’s recommendation on how to avoid suspicion: she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law in everything and treated her as if she were her own mother.

After six months, the entire family had changed.

Lyn controlled her temper very well and hardly ever got annoyed.

During these months, she didn’t have any arguments with her mother-in-law, who was also much nicer and easier to deal with.

The mother-in-law’s attitude also changed and both of them began treating each other like mother and daughter.

One given day, Lyn went looking for Master Huang to ask for his help and said:

“Master, please help me to stop the poison from killing my mother-in-law. It’s just that she has transformed into a kind woman and I love her as if she were my mother. I don’t want her to die because of the poison I have given her.”

Master Huang smiled and shook his head:

“Lyn, don’t worry. You mother-in-law didn’t change. You were the one that changed. The herbs I gave you are vitamins to improve her health.

The poison was found in your actions, but it was substituted by the love and kindness that you began to give her.”

Now, my dear friends, prepare the herbs and begin the treatment with your own mother-in-law!!

Where were you in 1994?

I remember the freedom of being able to play in the neighborhood streets with my friends.

I remember the first music CD I got as a gift.

I remember that in 1991 the movie “Dancing with Wolves” won an Oscar.

I remember that in 1990, cell phones were launched in Brazil and although they looked like bricks, everyone had one hanging from their waists.

I remember that in 1990 I took the college entrance exam.

I remember that in 1993, Junior, today my dear husband, was my best friend.

I remember that in 1994 Brazil won the world cup and I was on the streets of Ipanema commemorating with my friends.

But there’s one thing I don’t remember…

1994 was the end of the Apartheid.

It hasn’t been too long has it?

As you already know, we were visiting the churches in the country and visited one of our churches located in a poor community here in Windhoek.

At the end of the service, the people didn’t want to leave. They stayed singing and dancing while the ladies came over to shake my hand and hug me with such great affection that it made me emotional, for at that moment I remembered that in a not too distant past, those same ladies were humiliated and treated like garbage by people who thought they were superior due to the color of their skin…

While I was living as a rebellious adolescent and leading a selfish little life, thousands of people living here in Africa were treated like inferior beings.

Can you imagine what that’s like? To be treated worst than an animal and for this to be considered normal?

But forgiveness is a marvelous gift that they know how to give themselves.

They are not bitter and unpleasant, on the contrary, they are loving and affectionate even with those that caused them so much pain...

We must be like that…

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

Matthew 5: 44,46

My Everyday Gift

When I began praying for my sentimental life, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted…

I wanted to wake up every day of my life and look at my husband with a growing love.

I wanted complicity with a simple glance – you know that whole thing of being able to look at each other and communicate in a way that only the two of us understand!

Or just a simple stare and the other person can identify what you want?

I wanted to pray and fast together with him for the same objectives.

I wanted to be on the same frequency.

I wanted to share the dream of saving souls.

I wanted to be able to trust and give myself without holding back…

I said all of this to God!

It wasn’t easy, but if one thing is for sure – it’s that I threw myself in His hands.

I gave up my will and my desires so that He could see that I was ready to do His will!

“Fernanda, who knows what’s best for you: God or you?” I kept asking myself this and of course, the answer was quite obvious, but during the difficult moments, I had to keep on reminding myself of that.

It was my challenge.

And do you know the result?!

It’s only been 13 years of marriage but we feel even more in love with each other than on our honeymoon.

Darling, oh how I love you!

With each day that passes it gets even better.

During the difficult moments, we unite as one to become stronger and when we are happy we multiply… we become 5, 10, 15!

All of the complicity that I wanted, the synchronism, all of the giving without holding back and so many other things that I didn’t even ask for….

My Lord, oh how I love you! Thank you!

Every morning that we wake up together, I remember that all of this is a marvelous gift!

It’s a sign that when we put our God in first place, He completes us in such an absolute manner that it makes us tremble with joy!

I am sharing this with you because I know that many of you are facing this battle, and I know how it is!

I know many times doubts come and try to weaken you, make you give up, question everything that happens to you and even what doesn’t happen!

During this time your attitude will make all of the difference.

Do you trust your God?!

He will give you your every day gift….

Unpleasant habits and attitudes

Be careful with the habits and attitudes that makes us unpleasant women.

This list is long, pay attention, sometimes these things happen without notice.

You become easily irritated and nervous, you don’t find a way to dominate yourself.

You judge others, and sometimes even without having met them .

You talk too much, without thinking and you don’t consider the consequences.

You talk bad about people behind their back, you criticize everything and everyone.

You consider yourself superior to everyone and you make others feel inferior.

You love being the center of attention, you never accept being below anyone.

You are a gossiper, you want to know everything, and you enjoy listening to other peoples conversations to then spread gossip.

You are mean in your way of talking, in your gestures and even answering the phone.

You always make fun of others, you laugh at people even though it is a serious situation.

You always do things with a second meaning, whether it is to just to please others or to receive some kind of benefit. You are not sincere.

You are to authoritative, you always want to have dominion of the situation.

You are selfish, everything must be your way, other peoples opinion don’t matter.

You are always in a bad mood, you always have a mad face on.

You are jealous. You envy everything, whether its other people hair, clothes, marriage, their way of being, their jobs... etc.

You are curious. You are always informing yourself of everything that is going on in other peoples lives.

You are annoying, you are never satisfied with anything, you are always looking for a way to bother other people.

“Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” Proverbs 16:32

By Tania Rubim

The Traveling Necklace

Many of you who follow this blog will remember Nancy…

She is with us here in Namibia and very soon I’ll be telling you about how God has been amazing and faithful in her life. But that story is not for today…

Today we’ll talk about the Traveling Necklace…

When I heard about this idea, I fell in love with it!

Every Big Sister (click here to know more about The Sisterhood), passes on a necklace of hers to a Pledge who wears it for one day and then passes it on.

On the day that she wears it, the Pledge remembers about The Sisterhood and what it signifies in her life whenever she feels it, looks in the mirror or receives a compliment about it…

She will have the opportunity to contemplate on the great changes that have happened as well as the important morals that she has learned.

Below is what Nancy had to say about her day with the “Traveling Necklace”!

“There’s no way that this will go unnoticed.” This thought was not a reaction to the beauty of the necklace, but a feeling that me wearing such a beautiful piece of jewelry would stand out like a sore thumb. This wasn’t my usual style of accessory; it was way out of my league.

Then, right then, I felt as though my big sister was rebuking me for having such a negative thought. “no self-criticism” one of those on our no-no list. And immediately I put on the necklace, headed straight for my make-up, did my hair and left the room. For that necklace reminded me about the precious life God has given each of us, and how often we cover it with so many negative thoughts about ourselves.

Even though, as the day progressed and people commented on how beautiful I looked in the necklace, I still had to keep holding myself back from making the ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ comment. The Sisterhood teaches us to take care of ourselves and value ourselves, so why can’t I wear such a beautiful piece of jewelry?

After a little more thought, I got my answer. It wasn’t only the negative thought of “its too nice for me” it was also the fact that I’d never been one to bother with accessories. I’m the kind of girl who can quite comfortably put on a pair of earrings and keep them on for a few days without thinking twice. The convenience of going to sleep and waking up ‘already accessorized’ was oh so sweet.

But that’s all in the past now. The traveling necklace came, showed me how things could be and then went on to bless another sister, and that’s how opportunities are. They come and go and it’s up to us to grab the opportunity and change.

Wearing this necklace was a blessing for me because it reminded me about how beautiful I could make things – not just my appearance, but my life, and the lives of those around me.

By Nancy Mbugua – Sisterhood Pledge, Namibia

For the Single Ladies - Dating… What can we, and can't we do?

Task #37 for the Single Ladies

Here I’m referring to Christian dating – between those who fear God and are concerned about not doing anything that will disappoint Him.

Well, in the last blog we spoke about the right time to begin dating and now we will talk about those who are already dating…

• Can you kiss on the lips?

• How about those soap opera kisses? Are they allowed?

• Can you hug?

• How about kissing on nape of the neck? Or on the earlobe?

Before I answer, I would like to point out a reality:

Us girls (lol) are very different from the guys; perhaps you have no idea just how different we really are!

Men are visual and women are all feelings, therefore, a kiss on the nape of the neck for you can be something innocent, but for a guy it can have him “climbing up the walls!”

A soap opera kiss, that one where the tongue seems to go right down the throat of the other person – you know, where the mouth seems to swallow up the whole face of the other person? It’s advisable that those kisses be kept for husband and wife.

Forgive me if I seem old fashioned but I believe that it’s right. Perhaps now you ask…

“Nanda, so what can we do while dating?”

Here’s the answer:

1. Talk loads; seek to really know one another – the qualities and the defects.

2. Get to know what each other’s dreams are.

3. Find out how his relationship is with his family.

4. What are both of your goals in life?

5. Do you both have the same opinion in relation to having children?

6. Try to find out what place God has in his life.

7. Go out for lunch

8. Go to the cinema or some place where there are other people, avoid being alone, even if it’s in your parent’s house when they are not there. Say goodbye at the front door and don’t invite him in.

Now, concerning touching – everything should be minimal and careful so that you don’t cause him to visualize wrong things in his mind. The man may be of God, but he is still flesh and at the end of the day if he falls into temptation, it will be your fault. Never sit in between his legs or on his lap. Be very careful with the way you hold him, don’t go too far with what you do.

That’s why another important tip is to be really careful about the clothes that you choose to wear when going out with him.

Avoid showing your cleavage, wearing tight clothes or anything that can excite his imagination.

Do you want a good guide on how you should behave?

Task #37

“Every time you go out with him, imagine that there is a hidden camera filming every move that you both make… and on the sofa of your house, your father, mother, grandmother and his grandmother are watching everything you both do… How would you behave knowing that they were watching? So now, that is how your dating should be!”

For the Single Ladies- Do you know when it's the right time to start dating?

Task #36 for the Single Ladies

I was speaking with my husband the other day and he mentioned something really interesting…

Do you know when young Christians should begin to date?

When the two of them are in a position to marry.

Think with me. Let’s create a scenario…

Why would a 15-year-old girl who is serious with God start to date a boy (who is of the same age and faith – or he could even be older than her), if neither of them is in a position to get married?

Or lets say that the boy is 20 years old, lives with his parents and is studying…

His studies will finish in 3, 4 or 5 years! And only after this can he begin to work and prepare for marriage.

So I ask you…

Why would you be dating for all that time?

Long-term dating only builds up anxiety and a danger of falling into sin. Christian dating is not the same as non-Christian dating, which, many times is long-term and the arrangement is no different than that of marriage.

The young person whose heart really is in the things of God, knows what she must do in order to preserve herself and that long-term relationships are very dangerous.

Let’s now create another scenario…

You are still young, but in the age range of 25 to 30 years old and are ready to marry.

Do you think it’s wise to get involved with a boy who still isn’t ready even if it means dating him for the next 5 years?

Here’s something more for you to think about…

Christian dating is so two of you can get to know each other better – to know a little more about the character and future plans that you each have.

You only start dating someone who you believe is the right person and know that is ready to get married – assuming that you are already ready to marry, right!

Look girls, wasting precious time on a long-term date that you clearly know is going nowhere will only be disappointing.

Task #36

“Be wise girls, dating is one step away from marriage… Ask yourself the following:

‘On starting this relationship, am I one step or one thousand steps away from marriage?’

If you are not one step away from marriage, then it’s better to wait…”

Many of you are now thinking…

‘But he’s been sent by God for me, and if I don’t accept him now, then I’m gonna lose him altogether!’

Here’s your answer:

If you lose him, then it’s because he’s not the one that God had for you in the first place!”

Ps. I would really like to hear your opinions on this topic.

For the Single Ladies- Oh, How Much Negativity!

Task #35 for the Single Ladies

In England I watched a self-help programme about dietary habits; it said…

“You are what you eat!”

If your diet is healthy, then your body will reflect this…

And the same goes for your spiritual health.

Your spiritual life is a representation of your thoughts…

“You are what you think!”

Pure and sincere thoughts, turned to God, without being fanatic, reflect a healthy spiritual life.

Your thoughts are a type of diet and that’s why it’s very important to take care of what you ‘eat’.

See which thoughts you are having and then you’ll understand the reason why your spiritual life is the way it is.

Task #35

“Be really careful with how you deal with your thoughts… it’s practically impossible to control them, but if we keep an eye on them and reprove all thoughts that intend to pull us down, or rather, thoughts that come from the devil, then we are on the road to a healthy spiritual life.”

I also watched a video on Bishop Renato Cardoso’s site, where he was teaching about how to overcome evil thoughts.

This is something that I always try to do when the devil tries to assault me with negative thoughts:

I praise God! The devil detests it when we praise the Lord Jesus.

Look at what the Word of God teaches us…

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.”

Ps. Friends, the devil is sly. He brings evil thoughts to your mind and then accuses you with them and this guilt takes you further away from God.

But even so, don’t take the blame! Humble yourself before God, ask for His forgiveness and then lift up your head and march onwards!

This way we are destroying the traps of the devil in our life!

For the Single Ladies- Crystal Girl

Task #34 for the Single Ladies

Martha was tired, she had guests in the house, and there was Mary, sitting down and not helping with anything!

Martha couldn’t contain herself and complained to Jesus:

“Lord, tell her to come and help me!” she said

“Martha, Martha, your sister has chosen the best part and this will not be taken from her!” Replied Jesus

****

To His mother Mary He said:

“Woman, what do I have with you?”

****

A certain time the Lord Jesus was teaching His disciples the importance of him being rejected, having to suffer a lot and then die before resurrecting after three days…

Peter, completely innocent – and I believe that he just wanted to please Jesus, said that he would never let this happen, and at that very moment the Lord Jesus rebuked him saying:

“Get behind Me, Satan!”

****

Now, put yourself in the shoes of these people and think about how you would feel…

I can already see your reaction…

“Ahhhhh, Jesus called me Satan… and what’s worse, He did it in front of the whole world!!!”

“What an injustice, Jesus let Mary sit down while I did everything alone! I’m left feeling so ashamed! Now, I bet that Mary will never help me around the house again!”

“My own son spoke to me like that! I’m devastated!”

****

Dear friends, if there is something that the Lord Jesus teaches us through these examples, it’s that we shouldn’t just act by emotion or be oversensitive.

Imagine what could have happened if Peter, Martha and Mary would have been offended and had held a grudge against the Lord Jesus because of what He said to them?!? Or because of Him rebuking them in front of others…

Many times we take actions in an emotional way, becoming very sensitive and are therefore more inclined to keep grudges.

It’s like we turn into crystal and whatever bad word is said to us – no matter how small – can break us into tiny pieces!

This is not the faith that the Lord Jesus teaches us.

Perhaps you think… ‘Oh the Lord Jesus never speaks to me like that…’

“Does He not? Are you sure about that?”

Friends, how many times have we been offended when we are rebuked?

How often do we get upset with something that someone has said to us?

Enough! This has to stop!

I’m not saying that it’s easy or that you should never feel anything whatsoever!

What I am saying is that we need be attentive, to pray more and to fight in prayer when something like this happens. When we begin to get the following thoughts:

Who is she (or he) to speak to me like that?

Gosh! I don’t deserve this treatment!

What did I do to deserve this?

My God, look at what she said to me!

We need to rebuke these thoughts. Feeding them will not make things better, they will only get worse!

When something like this happens, watch out and refuse for these thoughts to head that way. You can change these thoughts by analyzing yourself and asking the following:

What does the Lord want to teach me with this?

What is my mistake here?

How can I change?

What can I do so that this never happens again?

If whatever happens seems to have no basis…Pray for the person in a positive way – pray for the Lord Jesus to bless him/her.

I also advise you not to distance yourself from her; instead, stay close and prove that you are the opposite of what she said about you.

Clearly, all this does depend, because there are some people who are very difficult and it’s better to keep a distance from them, but of course do it with a clean heart, without anger, resentment or grudges.

Task #34

Don’t be a “Crystal Girl”, full of emotions and easily hurt.

We have to run in front of our adversary the devil.

Women of prayer, SENSITIVE to the voice of God, but INSENSITIVE to the voice and provocation of the devil!