Ironies of Life

I’m going to be sincere with you guys: I used to be one of those people that absolutely hated the Universal Church. 

I found it all to be absurd- the pastors, the members and above all Bishop Macedo.

The newspapers were my allies, my sole source of information given that I had never even step foot in the church.

Today, 18 years later here I am- married to a pastor of the Universal Church and working in Africa! How ironic!

Old friends and family members still can’t manage to understand.

My parents dreamed of me having an entirely different life. Little do they know that if it weren’t for God, whom I found in the Universal Church, they would be visiting me once a year at the cemetery, but I will go into more depth about that later.

I’m on the other side of the coin now and I know through my own experience, what grand work the church does. 

I know about the daily sacrifices not limited to the Campaigns of Israel; the constant revolt against the devil and what he does in people’s lives; the incessant prayers; the ardent desire and struggle to save souls; the constant struggle against physical tiredness, whilst the Spirit wants to do more; the pain of seeing such a vast wheat field and so few workers; and of course the social work aimed to help those suffering in poverty.

We are in Namibia. Few are those who know this country. When we were in London and my husband told me that we would be coming here (he informed me on Wednesday and we were to travel that same Sunday,) I ran for the computer to find out where it was… it is in Africa. It is not the poorest country on the African continent, nonetheless, there is lots of misery and poverty here…

Therefore, in my future posts, I am going to be sharing with you some of my experiences here during these months and I will give you a chance to learn a bit more about Namibia…

Don’t miss out!

Blah, Blah, Blah

At first I was going to church only to please my “Aunt Eliana” (at the time she was just my boyfriend’s mom, now she’s my lovely mother-in-law.)

She constantly invited me to the meetings; most of the time I didn’t want to go but I did so anyway just to stay on her good side.

Nonetheless, my going to church seemed pointless because the pastor’s words were coming in through one ear and out the other.

I was sure that sooner or later she’d get tired of inviting me, but boy was I wrong! Each day she would come up with a better reason…

"Nanda, today is a special day and I would really like it if you accompanied me,”

"Nanda, there’s a very special purpose taking place today. We can’t miss out on it!”

"Nanda, why don’t you join me? I don’t want to go all by myself. I thought that one was a low blow, but of course, I didn’t want to displease her… lol

Despite all of my apparent indifference, there was always a message that stayed with me after the meeting.

Then one day…

“Speak to God… Tell him how much you love him… Tell him that you love him more than anything in your life… more than your friends, more than your dad…”

“No way!” I answered.

Clearly, the pastor that was leading the prayer didn’t hear me.

I remember that was the first time I really spoke to God without repeating or reciting empty words; instead, speaking from within, sincerely.

“God, I can’t say that I love you more than my dad because it isn’t true!

My Dad is my darling, my love! I know who my dad is but I don’t know you Lord!

But you know something God: someday I want to be able to tell you I love you more than anything in my life.

I want to get to know you!”

I never forgot that day or those words.

It was the day I finally decided to take God seriously, it was the day my life really began to change. It was also the last day that Aunt Eliana had to insist on inviting me to church because I decided to do my part in getting to know God.

Shortly thereafter- a day that I will never forget, the day that I remember being able to finally say “My Lord, I love you more than anything in this world, even my dad!”

It was the day of my encounter with God, it was wonderful!

From that moment on I realized how important sincerity is for God.

That is why I am extra careful with my words, especially in church, when we go before the altar to seek His presence.

How many times have you found yourself repeating the pastor’s words without thinking if what you are saying is actually what you feel/believe?

How many are the times that while you are seeking God’s presence, you walk to the front, raise your hands and begin to say lots of words, but your mind is somewhere else: at home, with your kids, your long to-do list, and so your words are completely empty.

Don’t be embarrassed to admit and face reality, for when I am not vigilant I find myself doing this as well!

That’s right, the devil is astute and he doesn’t want us to praise God.

That is why he brings forth the most varied thoughts into our head while we are in prayer. When this happens if you do not resist him, then you end up returning to your seat feeling empty and far from God.

There are times in which we are all in the front seeking God’s presence but I feel troubled or worried about something, so, I open up to God first and let go of what is troubling me. Sometimes, everyone around is already speaking in tongues and I am still there unburdening myself…

Next time you are in the front seeking God’s presence, remember these words and above all, be sincere. Without a doubt you will attract God’s attention.

Look through the Darkness

I arrived to the church full of prejudices because I had heard so many negative things about it. Even without ever having set foot in there, I believed everything that came out in the newspapers.

If it weren’t for my mother-in-law (at the time, my boyfriend’s mother) I would never have gone.

It seems incredible but at the time I really believed I had no problems. How could that be? Not have problems and still be unhappy?

The list of problems was enormous, but they were all inside of me and I couldn’t see them. They were hidden in the darkness…

• ·       Grudges, anger, sorrows. People I couldn’t and didn’t want to forgive.
  
• ·       Anger towards my mother, I hated her.
  
• ·       Fear of the future, much insecurity. I only wanted to think about the here and now.
  
• ·       “I am never getting married!” I would say because I didn’t want to live in “hell.”
  
• ·       “Faithful men don’t exist; therefore, before he betrays me, I’ll do it to him.”
  

Due to these thoughts none of my relationships succeeded.

But these were not apparent problems.

I wasn’t going hungry. I wasn’t sick in a hospital bed. Nonetheless, I was as miserable and ill as all those who were…

It took many meetings and lots of prayers until I could see all of this and understand the reason for not being happy.

Today I know the meaning of happiness.

• ·       I have no sorrow in my heart.
  
• ·       I learned to love, respect and value my mother.
  
• ·       I do not fear the future because I am sure of where I am heading.
  
• ·       I got married! I don’t live in hell; Instead, I enjoy a harmonious and love filled relationship.
  
• ·       Faithful men really do exist, those that fear God. If there is fear of the Lord then there is fidelity.
  

For that reason my life is on the altar. That is why we gave up everything. 

Wherever God sends us we shall go.

My reason to live is to do exactly that: guide people to see their problems, teach them the path that I found in order to overcome them and to be as happy as I am.

How about you, do you want to be happy? Begin by learning to see through the darkness. 

Brainwashed...

After my conversion, I became accustomed to hearing old friends and family members saying how I had suffered a brainwash. 

As a matter of fact I can imagine how many people have heard and continue to hear similar comments.

But do you know what?

They were all right!

Before my encounter with Jesus I used to do, think and say the most awful things!

I was very unhappy, not on the outside, but inside of me.

On the outside I was always smiling, inside always crying.

There were many sorrows and grudges, people that I couldn’t get myself to forgive. There was much sadness, much guilt and nastiness.

After I was converted, baptized and experienced an encounter with my God…

All of the horrible things I used to say and feel disappeared, it was all erased!

The sorrows and grudges vanished. I forgave!

The old Nanda was washed and put out! She gave way to a new Nanda that was better and truly happy.

They are right guys! 

It was indeed a true washing but not limited just to the brain. It was a general wash!

And do you know what else?!

There is nothing better!

Well then, how about a brainwash?

Be Drastic!

“Nanda, let’s go, it will be fun!”

“Renata, I am not up to it, maybe some other time…” was my initial response, not at all assertive in an effort to please her and ease myself out of the situation.

“It’s going to be an amazing night; you’ve always loved this place. We are going to dance the night away!” She insisted. She couldn’t believe that after all this time apart I was not going to go out with her on a Saturday night.

“Listen, I am sorry but I’m not going.”

“Girl, I can’t believe what I’m hearing! Look, I wanted to surprise you but I guess I’m going to have to tell you… Nanda, everyone is gonna be there! I contacted all of our friends; they all miss you like crazy! You have to go!”

“I can’t believe it! Why did you do that?” I asked, hoping it was a joke.

“Nanda we all miss you, it was supposed to be a surprise!”

At that moment I began to despair. "My Lord! What should I do?! If I join my friends for a night out on the town, I will be going against my recently discovered faith! However, if I don’t go, I can kiss goodbye to all of my friends whom I haven’t seen in such a long time. Not to mention that Renata will most certainly hate me… and I really wanted to talk about Jesus to her, show her how different I am now…"

“Ah, you can go…there’s no problem at all! All you have to do is keep to yourself… after all you also miss them. It’s going to be fun and best of all: you won’t disappoint your friends. Do you really think God is going to mind? Where’s the harm in reuniting with some old friends?” It was a voice speaking within me so loudly that it seemed that even Renata could hear it…

“No, no and no!”  I answered with revolt, not knowing if I was talking to Renata or the voice in my head!

“Renata, forgive me but it’s decided. Call them and tell them it’s canceled because I am not going!” Now there was definitely firmness in my voice.

“I know where this is all coming from; it’s that church that brainwashed you! I will never go to that place!” She turned around and left….

Renata was my best friend when I left Brazil in 1995 to live in the United States, where I began to attend the Universal Church and where I converted. The day of this episode was one of the last times I saw her… I was still in the process of converting and had gone to Brazil to visit my parents. It was one of the most difficult moments I had to face, it wasn’t the first or the last and it definitely wasn’t easy.

After she left I felt a tremendous peace. I didn’t feel sad about disappointing my friends. I knew I had made the right choice, but man, only I know how close I was to giving in. That loud “voice” inside my head almost convinced me.

The other day I was watching a movie in which a young guy was being so tempted by pornography on his computer, that he too made a choice… he broke the entire computer into pieces…

There are moments in life in which you must make a drastic move! It doesn’t help to try to go around the situation!

Either you are, or you aren’t!

It is, or it isn’t!

You want it or you don’t!

You go or you stay!

It’s either light or darkness!

There’s no way around it; There’s no middle ground!

Think about this and if you find yourself being tempted... be drastic!

Look Up To Jesus

It took me a long time to understand the meaning of these words ...

Once I started going to church, I looked at everybody ... 

The assitants, pastors, members and even the wives of pastors.

Despite knowing that there is no one perfect, it seemed that even so, I wanted everyone to be perfect, because they were of God!

Then came the disappointments, it was a person who spoke something here, or another one there ...

My mother-in-law was someone who was always very patient with me and helped me a lot during my conversion. 

She always said ... "Always look up to Jesus, people will fail and disappoint you, but Jesus will never disappoint you!"

Folks, it's amazing how we tend to persist in that mistake, or is it just me?

The truth is that generally we look at other people and two things happen:

• We admire and take as an example.

• We look, do not like and put defects.
  

This is where the danger lies ...

If we admire, we want to be like that person and many times feeling inferior to them.

If we look and put defects, we are inevitably putting ourselves in the position to judge or even feel superior.

But what's wrong in admiring someone and have them as an example? 

You must be wondering ...

The answer is that there is no problem as long as we remember that nobody is perfect and that we should not compare ourselves ...

Something happened to me that I will never forget ...

I had been born of God, but had (and still have) many things in me that I wanted to change. 

There was this friend of mine whom I admired because many qualities that I wanted, she had ...

I always compared myself and felt inferior, because in everything I thought she was better ... More patient, calmer, more quiet, more reserved, and so on ...

Until one day I was shocked. She manifested with an evil spirit in the church!

Imagine?!

If she had all the qualities, that seemed to be from God and manifested!

What about me?

It was not easy, it was a very difficult time for me.

The devil made a party in my mind. I found myself face to face with him and all sorts of accusations!

I overcame with an intelligent faith. 

I looked at the fruits in my life and moved on.

Only after this I could understand the true meaning of "Look to Jesus."

I look at him and I always see myself less, and so full of faults, but He never troubles me, always strengthens me!

How wonderful is that?!

How many were those who disappointed you?

How many were the problems in the church?

How many were the assistants, pastors and even bishops who fell in the faith and suddenly you felt lost?

And what about that person you admired so much and disappointed you?

I know it is inevitable that we look at people, but remember, first of all ...

Look up to Jesus, He is perfect and will never disappoint you or let you down!

Looking at him ...

"A thousand shall fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right, but will not come near you"

The day God got angry with me ...

Another day I was very beautiful and splendid making my prayer, when

the scolding came with all fury ...

I said ... "My God, help me, I want to make a difference" ... and

repeated "Oh my God, help me to make a difference"

At that moment came the unexpected answer ...

"Until when will you be praying for me to do something that YOU have to do?!"

"Want to make a difference? Go and do it! Act! Think! Act! "

"Few are those who are acting and many who, like you, are praying and

asking Me to do what THEY have to do!"

It really made me think! 

By the way, I'm sure God loves it when people think instead of doing things

mechanically.

Let us look around us and try to see how many are those who are

really making a difference... At work, at church, in the family,

at home and even in hell!

Less souls in hell means that someone is making a difference right?! 

In situations where nobody stands out, is even easier! Because even

the minimum you do, will be a difference!

Making a difference is not so difficult, because few are doing it, but

also not so easy ... It will require sacrifices ...

Thinking about it, I started with my list (now I have lists for everything!)...

Things you need to do to start making a difference:

1. First of all! Beware of the intentions of your heart. Your desire must be to please God and not to "show off", to draw the attention of someone or to reach a position.
2. Observe, see what nobody wants to do, go ahead and do for Jesus.
   
3. Be available and make yourself available.
   
4. Do things without people having to tell you to do. For this you need to think and see what needs to be done.
5. Do not be lazy! This is very important!
   
6. Escape from routine. The routine can make you lazy did you know?
   
7. Always do more than what you have been asked for. Go the extra mile.

Look at your life. Have you been making a difference in the lives of your

husband and family? In your work? In your church?

All for Jesus?

I'm still compiling my list, but I'm already working at it ... If you have more

things to add, please write your comment ...

The Coin Has Two Sides

“Mother, I hate you!”

This was like a routine statement during my adolescence and even into adulthood.

My mum was my monster, my big problem, and the very reason of all that was bad in my life.

I noticed that all my friends’ mothers took great care of their fathers and children, but my mum was so different.
She would not cook, not clean, not even wash her clothes!

The only thing she knew how to cook was chicken stew, her favourite dish by the way, which both my dad and I hated.
Growing up, I was used to my dad’s cooking, cleaning and washing, and for me this was revolting! How could she?!

My dad my hero, my mother… The witch!

Our relationship would get worse day by day, as I could see the differences between my mother and my friend’s mothers.

Many years later…
The other side of the story… My mum’s side…

“I would give my life for her… After giving birth to Nanda, I almost died and was never the same again, almost one year on a comma and so much medication, it took a lot from me, plus the fact that for all that time, I was not with my baby, but my sister who took care of her… Nanda has a bond with her, it is as if she is the mother and I’m the stepmother and I don’t know how to deal with it!”

“I wake up every day at 4:30 in the morning to go to work, so we can afford to pay a good school for her. I leave early and only arrive very late at night”

“I’m so tired, I don’t have time to do anything else, thank God, my husband helps me as his hours are flexible, but even him seems to resent me.”

“After all my efforts, still she doesn’t care or respects me, she shouts and swears at me, but she is my daughter and I love her, I don’t know how to show it, but I do”

“I’m not like the other mothers, who have time to take care of their children, houses and husbands, I work so much and don’t know until when I’ll be able to or have the strength… But I do this for Nanda, so she can have a better life than I have.”

My mum never told me these things…

God did!

Only after I had an encounter with God, I could see the other side of the coin. Only then, I could love and understand my mum. He took the blinkers from my eyes!

I could see her side of the story! She was not perfect, but I was not easy either!
That day, I asked her forgiveness, I cried so much, I still remember… It was like a heavy weight being lifted from my back, no more hate, no more grudges! I felt light!

Today, I love and admire her for all she did. We have a great relationship!

Have you ever had a friend complaining to you about another, then you got furious, but when you heard the other side you understood it better?
Yeah, me too…

As the coin has two sides, every story has two sides too, the problem is that we forget, or just don’t want to listen…

What is the other side of your story…?

The 3D life

The 3D life

“My God Nanda, you don’t know what happened!”
The desperation in my mother’s voice makes my heart to beat faster.

“What is it mum? What happened?” I ask, as I prepare myself to hear bad news…

“The baker didn’t come today! Your father is having to bake all the bread by himself! What are we going to do if he doesn’t come tomorrow as well? Oh my God! What are we going to do Nanda?!!”

You might be laughing now, but this is something that happens constantly in the few conversations I have with my mum.
My parents own a Bakery and when is not the Baker, is a problem with one of the employees or something else, but always in these proportions.

It is as if she is living her life with those glasses you wear when watching a 3D movie!
The problems of her life start to look so big, everything is out of proportion and she easily gets desperate!

Yesterday in church, a young girl gave her testimony. She’s been coming for only 7 weeks (since the Nothing is Impossible event) and said that her life is already completely changed.
She used to be depressed and the situation was so serious that she was thinking about taking her life!

She said that she sees things in a different way now!

That’s when it struck me! The glasses! We need to take them off! To destroy them!

The devil tries to make us wear these 3D glasses everyday!
With them, we see problems bigger than they are; we see situations out of proportion, see things that do not exist!

But Jesus! Much better than superman, came to save us! He gave us the weapon to fight!

Faith!

If the devil tries to put those glasses on those who know how to use their weapon, they do like superman did… They see through! And destroy it!
They see what others can’t see!

They see how small that problem is!
They see that they can overcome!
They see so clear! They see it all!

I pray everyday for my mum’s conversion and acceptance of our Hero. That’s the only way she can learn how to use the weapon and destroy the 3D glasses of the devil.

That young girl in church learned it and now she is happy because she is not living a 3D life anymore!

Sometimes I notice the devil trying to put these glasses on me as well, and if I don’t use my weapon, the glasses are just going to get their way… No way!