Wednesday, 10 February 2010

For the Single Ladies - Gorgeous!

Task #7 for the Single Ladies

When I was little I had this photo of me as a baby with very short hair. All you could see were my eyes and head, nonetheless, my parent’s adored (of course!) this photo and decided to frame it and place it in the living room.

For my own anguish, all those that came to visit would say “Wow, what huge eyes! They look like two big grapes!”

You see, no one said “oh, how pretty!” of course not! No, they all had to mention the blessed big grapes! I resent that fruit till this day! lol

Well, those comments would get to me…. As I became a young woman, I continued to feel very uncomfortable with my big eyes and head! Not to mention my feet!

I hated carrots but would eat them like crazy, since my mother had said that eating lots of carrots would make your eyes turn green. I wish! I ate so many carrots that my eyes should’ve turned blue!!!

To complete the package, I started getting lice (how nasty!). They loved sucking my blood! My mom and grandmother tried everything. They’d get rid of the lice but I’d come home from school the next day with my head infested again!

At the time my hair was very long and I loved it! Not knowing what else to do, my mom took me to the beauty salon and gave me the final blow!!! Without me even knowing, she requested they give me the boy cut!!!

I was devastated for some time, I felt ugly… I looked like a boy!

While at the supermarket one day, a lady said “Hey boy, excuse me please!” I looked at her with so much hatred and yelled “I’m a girlllll!!!”

I don’t remember how we came across the subject, but I remember that one day a very dear aunt said “Nanda, have you looked at yourself in the mirror and realized how gorgeous you are?” “Yes, your eyes are big but they are beautiful, they’re expressive, your nose is perfect and you have a beautiful mouth!”

Folks, I must have been 12 or 13, but I never forgot those words! She made me see things differently…Of course, I still had insecurities but I began to feel more confident and even found myself pretty. I even began to change certain behavior. I don’t think she knows what good her words did to me!

Our self-esteem is very fragile! A single comment can either raise it up high or bring it down!

If you have high self-esteem, the possibilities of being successful are far greater than if your self-esteem is low.

A woman with high self esteem is sure of herself and her actions prove it. She knows her value, she knows what she can achieve, she believes in herself!

Enough with the inferiority complex! Work on your self-esteem, it needs to be high all the time!

We women are easily influenced with regards to our appearance, we are so sensitive right? That is a weak point that we need to strengthen!

Whenever I mention to my husband that Gisele Bundchen and Victoria Beckham are beautiful, he tells me he finds them horrific! At first, I didn’t understand- I even thought he was just trying to please me, but in fact their beauty isn’t enchanting in his eyes.

Perhaps, many may considered you to be the most beautiful or the ugliest of all women but there will always be someone who finds you gorgeous and someone that finds you horrific! The great difference will be in what you see yourself as!!!

You want another example? Have you ever seen beautiful women dating and marrying ugly men?

Have you seen Jennifer Lopez’s husband? That’s right, I’m sure that in her eyes he is quite handsome!!!

Have you ever met someone that you thought was beautiful, but after getting to know that person, you found them to be ugly? Or someone you considered ugly but later found them beautiful?

Remember, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and your personality and attitude can transform you into a beautiful or ugly person!

Task #7

“Starting today your will work on raising your self-esteem. Look at yourself in the mirror and value your best features. Erase all negative comments you’ve heard and concentrate on the positive ones. The desired outcome is for you to feel confident and sure of yourself.

At the same time, you will do this for another person…create the habit of sincerely complementing others (your friends, mother.) It doesn’t cost a thing but it can change that person’s perspective.

You know the times you find something lovely in a person but you don’t say anything? Well, stop saving it!

Also, it’s important to be sincere when offering someone a compliment. Don’t be false because the other person will perceive it and it won’t be nice for you! If you can’t find anything positive to compliment, then don’t say anything.

If, on the other hand, you have the habit of pointing out defects, especially when it comes to other’s appearance, avoid doing so; unless, you do it very carefully and only with the intention of helping that person.

Remember that your comments can help to destroy that person’s self esteem…”


  1. I never agreed more to anything..

  2. muito forte
    clarinha saudades do tempo de queens
    muito tenpo eeii mas estou feliz por vcs
    que deus continua abencoando vcs
    this is ob tania in florida pompano beach
    god blessss

  3. Oi Tania, quanto tempo! Saudades! God Bless!

  4. Mrs. Nanda,

    Very interesting article especially the examples that you mentioned about the "grape eyes." Its true that we (women) have low self-esteems at times. We wake up and already feel inadequate, or, less pretty than the girl next to us. But, its like you said "to some we might be gorgeous but to others we might look horrific." What matters in the end is what we see ourselves as.

    I used to have a really low self-esteem. I remember that I always feel ugly and that no one would want me. After I started coming to church, I learned how to combat those negative thoughts. I would never smile in pictures, because I thought my teeth looked disgusting.

    After a while, several people would tell me that I had a nice smile! I would look at them and say to myself "their saying that to make me feel better or to like them." But, I was proven wrong. Words do have a huge impact on a person's self-esteem. Something that I am working on is completing women on their appearance. Why should we hold in good comments?

  5. Since I got married, I was never talking with my parents about married problems, but I learned something in my married, to humble myself is the only way for me to be happy in my married, sometimes I speak things that irritates Him but I am trying for me do not irritates Him, and in the day for me do not compare my husband with nobody, I almost did but it was not because I wanted to compare, but it was a good qualities that he has and I did not see in the other person but the other person also has good qualities, that me and my husband needs to improve a lot.Kisses Eliane Namibia

  6. Most of the things that you experience with self-esteem i, also face my eyes was not big, but i have my mouth, i hated it so much until i learn how to love it the way it is and think that it goes perfectly with my beautiful face. I also had to cut my hair when i was about 12, i was just going to start secondary school and everyone would laugh at me. i use to have t wear a wig because my hair was picky in the top and full with sore, at that time my nick name was wiggy, then my head become better and then i cut my hair like a boy, i like that, but then they start to call me a boy, i hate going to school by myself and would not go to lunch because i used to be afraid of people laughing at me.


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