Saturday, 19 December 2009

Love Dare - Day 17 - Learn How To Deal With His Family

Many women don’t realize how important this is but many marriages are at their brink because of this.

Mother-in-laws and father-in-laws shouldn’t be painted up to be such horrible people; after all if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t have a husband! The Lord knows how grateful I am to mine!

My parents-in-law are marvelous people, I love them truly. And my brother and sisters-in-law don’t even get me started…

I’ve always valued them and continue to value them. I try to please them in every way possible, despite being so far from them. I’ve never felt like an intruder because they make me feel like I’m part of the family.

We are distant and very often my husband does not call, but I do. I always email them photos and I make an effort to keep in touch, in fact, I think I speak to them more than my husband does!

In order to have a healthy relationship with your husband’s family, you need to be humble and try to understand their side of the story.

The mother, she brought up her son with the upmost care and love, it can’t be easy for her to see another woman taking her place and therefore, you should try to be more understanding.

If she notices that you are being careless with her son, of course she will get upset even if she knows that it’s not her place to say anything but at the end of the day a mom is always a mom and it’s not easy…

Many wives feel offended when their mother/sister – in -law say/s things like:

“Look, my son like his rice this way. Let me teach you.”

“My brother likes for his things to be very neat and tidy.”

“He’s so thin! Have you been cooking for him?”

“Listen, don’t do it like that- he won’t like it!”

“He won’t like those beans like that!”

I am totally aware that depending on the way in which those words are said they can hurt your feelings. But at the same time, if you understand the meaning behind those words then you will overcome it all and even come to love your in-laws because in the end they mean well and just want to help.

Place yourself in your mother-in-laws shoes: one day your child will want to run off and get married- can you not see what a difficult transition this is?

Be understanding, take it easy, become their daughter. Don’t try to mar their reputation by speaking badly about them.

Instead of competing with them, conquer them.

I feel so lucky to make part of such a marvelous family and to tell you the truth, nothing is better than that!

Dare-Task #17

“From now on you will change the way that you view and treat your in-laws. Forget about the past and all of the bad things that have happened between you: make a fresh start.

Call your mother-in-law and ask her how she’s doing. Invite her over for lunch. Buy her a gift you know she’ll like. Be humble when she tries to teach you something that your husband likes.

This goes for your mother, father, sister and brother-in-laws.

Always treat your husband with much respect- his parents will appreciate that in you.

You can start making these changes gradually and allow the process to take some time because if you do it all at once, your in-laws will begin to suspect that you want something…

Be wise, my friend, and always place yourself in their shoes.

If you have had serious problems with regards to this, don’t give up. The change you want to see will not occur from one day to the next like magic, rather it will take some time.


  1. Okay First thought was I get along well with his family, But then I started thinking after reading the entire task, and I realize I never do much for them I dont even try to understand them so this task actually caught me off guard, But I know that this will only make my marriage stronger and my family stronger!!!!

  2. I really thought that i was in good terms with my in-laws but when i read this article it taught me a lot and i am going to put into practice what i have learned out of this article.

    Charlene (Namibia

  3. This is an amazing article on how really God can change and pour out his transformation upon such wonderful a family and it is a good example to us concerning our in-laws.

  4. It realy wonderfull ideas on how to deal with the in-law but some a not easy at all but with the help of our God i can make it.


  5. this one is true and i will try my very best to consider my in-law much more than before

    Aina (Namibia)

  6. i have always admired my in-laws. they are very nice people, they keep to their place, i think i have grown more close to them as the years go by. i always make sure that i call them atleast to greet once in a while.

  7. I have lovely in-laws and they treat me like their own daughter. Iam very happy with them and have already invited my mother in-law for lunch. On this part of the love dare i have no props. Thanks so much even though im learning


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