John, you see how Sonia’s husband is? He helps out with everything, right Sonia? Tell him…”
“Wow darling, just look at your dad, he isn’t like that…”
“Did you see how Paul is? As is saying… “You’re not like that…”
In my lack of maturity I used to do a great deal of that.
Comparisons.
Although he never openly told me he disliked it, one day a friend of mine called me out on it. I, insensitively, used to do frequently- it really wasn’t cool!
To top it off, when I managed to annoy him I was oblivious to the fact that I had done something wrong…
Have you noticed that no one likes to be compared?
If you have siblings I can bet that you hate when you are compared to each other.
“Mary is prettier that Laura.”
“Sergio is very messy but little Paul is so neat.”
And that’s just the beginning…
Men aren’t the only ones that dislike comparisons. After I became aware of this bad habit this, I noticed many wives making the same mistake.
I’m not saying that they have a bad intention; I think that like me, they expect to get something good out of it.
But the effect is the opposite my friends.
These types of comparisons are many times degrading for them. It’s a low blow to their self-esteem.
Do you know what’s worst?
Most times we do it so naturally that we don’t even realize it.
My friend said: “Nanda, you always do that.”
In my head I thought “Always? What? It can’t be!”
And to my great surprise, she was right!
I started being more vigilant and perceived that I used to do it without even realizing it…
Dare- Task #22
“From now on you are going to do what I did. You will be more vigilant and stop making any of these sorts of comparisons.”
Your husband will greatly appreciate it!
This is a great blessing. A lot to practise, but I know the rewards will be great. I'm really appreciating the preparation. I will do as much as I can while awaiting the next blogs to come.
ReplyDeleteI have noticed how I compare him to other people and you are right it does me no justice.
ReplyDeleteI think about it like this "what if he compared me to his Sister or mother"
how would that feel and I dont htink I would like it so I am looking out for that as well.
Good evening Mrs Nanda
ReplyDeleteIts so true cause i also dont like to be compared so i also dont compare my husband to anyone cause i know how painful it is and especialy for man.
Charlene (Namibia)
It is true that is not right for a wife to compare her husband with someone else because is very bad and it puts them down,makes them angry,feel inferior and it can make the love between couples to go down. I thank God that I don't compare my husband with someone else because he is the right person to me.
ReplyDeleteROSALINDE(NAMIBIA)
This is very painfull to compare some one with another person,this does not only ambrase the person but make our husband to fill that we dont love them and they are not good enough for us.
ReplyDeleteTo have a healthy relationship or marrige we need to learn to change our husband in the way we want them to be, instead to make them angry we can help them to be the best husband we want and this is why we are created to be their helper but not a distroyer.
Hendrina(Namibia)
there is nothing worse than comparing your spouse to somebody else, i would never do somethjing like that, just thinking about it makes my stomach knot.
ReplyDeleteIs true like my husband he dont like to be compare with any one,so i dont ever try to because it can bring misunderstanding so i always tell him you a the best and that what they like to hear whenever we give them hope.
ReplyDeleteRuth(Namibia)
I myself hate when i am compare to someone else ,so just think comparing a man with someone else .It will make them feel disrespect.
ReplyDeleteAina Namibia
When i was just five month in my marriage i made that mistake before and truly i saw a side of my husband,that i don,t want to see again.As they say people always learn from they mistake and i did.
ReplyDeleteAina Namibia