Love Dare - Day 16 - It's Up To You

She wakes up early and prepares breakfast.

She gets ready and says goodbye to her husband.

She takes the kids to school and heads off to work.

She gets out of work, picks up the kids from school and goes home.

She bathes the kids, helps them with their homework, prepares dinner, washes clothes, sets the table for the kids to eat, washes the dishes, tucks the kids in bed and throws herself on the couch exhausted.

Her husband arrives… and that’s where the danger lies…

Her husband is tired and expects a warm welcome.

The tired wife thinks that it’s nonsense for him to complain about anything because her life isn’t easy and he doesn’t seem to get it!

She didn’t have a chance to shower and she reeks of the chicken she prepared for dinner. She’s in a bad mood due to her tiredness.

Many couples begin to misunderstand each other in situations not too different from this one.

They begin to live like strangers, both complaining (to themselves) that the other just doesn’t understand. ..

How long will they bear this situation?

It won’t be long until one of the two begins to consider a divorce.

This situation can change and it all depends on you!

Dare- Task#16

“She wakes up early and prepares breakfast. She gets ready and says goodbye to her husband with a kiss. She takes the kids to school and heads off to work. She gets out of work, picks up the kids from school and goes home.

She bathes the kids, helps them with their homework, washes the clothes, sets the table for the kids to eat, washes the dishes, tucks the kids in bed and runs to take a shower (she’s tired and in a bit of a bad mood but she knows that her marriage is worth the effort) and wants to smell nice for when her husband arrives.

She hears the rattle of keys at the door and rushes over to welcome her husband with a warm smile and yet another kiss.

She serves him dinner, they eat together and talk (bringing up problems is forbidden.)

They go to the room and she continues to talk to him while he showers (bringing up problems is forbidden,) they go to bed and love each other.”

Your task will be to try and fit into this role as best as possible.

Yes, it’s a sacrifice but if you sacrifice, soon he will do the same for you.

Try to apply this to your marriage daily. But, beware! If you put this into practice you will run the risk of transforming your marriage into a blessing!

Love Dare - Day 15 - Give Him Priority

My shirt button fell off, can you sew on later?

Please take my suit to the drycleaner.

I need new socks, can buy them for me?

Can you organize my wardrobe?

Remember to buy cotton swabs, we’re almost out.

Some days later…

Did you sew on the button like I asked?

Oh no, honey I totally forgot…

Did you take my suit to the drycleaner?

Whoops, darling I didn’t have time…

Did you the socks and cotton swabs?

Oops, I forgot!

I bet you didn’t organize my wardrobe either, right?!

These are only a few examples of small things that are asked of us and don’t receive the expected attention. Surely, many husbands feel frustrated, as if they hold a secondary position in our lives.

It may seem silly but it can be extremely frustrating for them.

If you doubt this is true, ask him and you’ll see.

Dare- Task #15

“Starting today you will prioritize your husband’s requests- whether big or small, it doesn’t matter. He needs to know that he is a priority in your life. Perhaps you’ll need to jot things down so you don’t forget or stop what you’re doing in order to do what he’s asking, but don’t forget…. make his requests a priority.”

Love Dare - Day 14 - Prayer

Many times we believe that our own strength is enough to guarantee a blessed relationship but that’s not the case.

 

How many times do you try to do everything right but it seems like everything goes wrong?

 

Prayer is essential.

 

You know that list of flaws? Pray for those flaws to transform into virtues.

 

You know those things within you that need to change? Pray asking for God’s help and guidance.

 

Dare- Task 14

“Today you are going to choose an area or problem in your relationship that need prayer. Speak to God as if He were there with you (and He is.)

Be sincere, honest and unburden yourself!

Tell him the changes that you want to see and what you will do to achieve them.

Remember that God won’t do what you must do; do your part- the possible, and He’ll do the impossible.

 

Prayer has power my friends! (Don’t underestimate the power of prayer!)

 

It’s a powerful weapon that is not always used; sometimes it’s even forgotten…

Love Dare - Day 13 - Solve the Problem

I was thinking about the task for day 12 of our Dare.

What is the reception like? How are they going to react in order to change the situation? Did they understand the message?

If your reaction was…

“Hey, that’s not fair! My husband doesn’t do any of the things I ask and if I don’t complain, then he’ll never do anything!

What's more is that if I don’t complain I will surely explode from saving it all inside of me!”

Know that you’re not alone, many women feel the same way, but there is a solution…I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but it works!

You know those tasks that you are always complaining to your husband about, the ones he never does?

Well…

Dare- Task #13

“You are going to take on these tasks as your own. By doing this you will solve your problem!”

It is very simple and maybe you continue to find that this just isn’t fair or too hard but it’s not in vain that we have called this purpose a Dare…

Let me explain…

When he throws his clothes on the floor and not in the hamper.

You will accept the task of picking his clothes off the floor and placing it in the hamper as your own. You will regard this as your responsibility and not his.

 

When he doesn’t put down the toilet seat.

You will accept the task of always putting the toilet seat down.

When he doesn’t take out the trash.

You will see this as your chore and so forth…

Once you take on these tasks as your own, then there won’t be a reason to complain or get angry!

The plus side of acting like this is that sooner or later your husband will begin to do things without you having to ask.

Many will even ask in what they can help!

It won’t be easy, in fact, you might feel a bit overburdened in the beginning but don’t give up because in the end it will be worth it!

“The weak give up midway through the battle when the situation becomes more difficult. The victorious fight until the end and don’t accept failure!”

How about you, are you Weak or Victorious?

Love Dare - Day 12 - Stop Complaining

It’s interesting how many times we do things we don’t realize we are doing.

This is another aspect in which I personally had to wake up and seriously change…Once I started observing myself with respect to this, I noticed how annoying I was and what’s worse is that my complaints were not getting me anywhere besides irritating him…

Have you stopped to observe yourself on this aspect?

It’s those famous phrases…

·      You always forget to take out the trash!

·      The dirty clothes go in the hamper not the floor!

·      You never put down the toilet seat!

·      You never put the cap back on the toothpaste!

By doing this we sound more like a mother than a wife and partner.

Dare-Task#12

“Starting today you will begin to observe and eliminate any unnecessary complaints that serve only to irritate both of you.”

 

Many people that I have counseled with respect to this have told me that after they stopped complaining, their husbands began to change and really do that which they had asked!

Love Dare - Day 11 - Admiration

When we were kids we used to love watching superhero cartoons. Girls dreamed with their own “Superman” coming to save them. Boys dreamed of being “Batman” with his cool costume and “Bat-mobile.”

In reality it has always been like this: girls admire the superheroes and boys want to be admired just like the superheroes.
With age and even marriage things don’t change much, they still need to feel admired.

You know what? This was a great eye-opener for me. I was always expecting some sort of praise, a word, a glance but I rarely did it in return.

Maybe I thought he didn’t care, I don’t know, but when I read about it in a book and began to put it into practice...Wow! How important it is!!! What a big difference it made in our relationship!

If you don’t admire your husband, this is the momento to start doing so…

If you like to hear some praise, they do too!

“Darling, you look great in that shirt!”

“Wow, what you said is so true!”

“Look, you see, you are so intelligent!”

Dare-Task #11
“Starting today, you will begin to admire your husband. As soon as you have a chance, give him a complement. Start doing this today and create the habit of always doing so…”

Love Dare - Day 10 -Demonstration

Folks in my opinion- I hope you all agree- love is a combination of things…

 

I make it a point to say “I love you” to my husband daily, but what good is it to say this if these words aren’t accompanied by loving actions and gestures?

 

Therefore, in this task…

 

Dare- Task #10

“You will do something unordinary for your spouse, something that will clearly demonstrate your love. Perhaps it’s that favorite dessert that you never make, maybe it’s his favorite food or an extraordinary back massage made with much care and precision, without him having to beg you for it… It’s up to you…

And don’t stop there; continue choosing different ways of demonstrating your love.

Don’t give up, don’t desist!

Remember that he who gives shall receive.”

Love Dare - Day 9 -Recepção

You know when you enter a store and the saleswoman receives you with a grouchy face?

It’s funny how contagious “grouchiness” can be, because suddenly you’re all grumpy along with her!

On the other hand, if she receives you with a big smile and is helpful, you end up buying stuff you don’t even need just because she was so nice!

Now I ask you, what type of reception has your husband been receiving when he comes home?

 

How about when he wakes up in the morning?

 

How do you treat him over the phone?

 

In this new task you will…

Dare- Task #9

 

“…analyze what type of reception you have been giving your husband. If it has been a negative one, you will change your behavior today. A smile, a kiss, a caress, a hug… you choose. It may be difficult for some at first but make an effort! A smile doesn’t cost that much but don’t stop there, make it get better and better each day…”

Love Dare - Day 8 - Don't envy, don't hold grudges

It may seem impossible and if asked you would probably deny it, but many times you envy and resent your spouse without even realizing it…

 

You know the times when he gets home after a tiresome day and sits on the couch to watch TV while you’re in the kitchen preparing dinner?

 

The times when he gets back from his Saturday morning jog while you’re stuck at home with the kids?

 

When he sleeps peacefully through the night while you constantly wake up to care for the crying baby?

 

That’s right! And these are only a few examples in the midst of so many situations that occur in a couple’s day to day life.

 

Not knowing how to deal with these situations and emotions has led more than a few couples to divorce. Clearly, it is not due to one in particular, rather an accumulation of many of these situations.

 

Envying his position in the family or resenting him is evidently not the right way to go.

 

 Love Dare- Task #8

“Today you will write a list of situations in which you perceive that you resent your spouse. Analyze the list and think about ways in which you can deal with those feeling in a different manner. Remember, you husband represents Jesus. If the Lord Jesus were in your living room relaxing while you were preparing dinner, would you feel the same way? Or would you be there happily preparing supper for Jesus, even if you were exhausted?”

Remember: a positive attitude can make all the difference!

 

Love Dare - Day 7 - Appreciate the Good Things

Falling in love is wonderful!

The butterflies in our stomach each time we see the person we love…

Do you know the cartoon Woody Wood Pecker?

Each time he saw his beloved his eyes would transform into these huge bulging hearts. If we were cartoon characters, I think the same thing would happen to us! Lol.

Usually, without even noticing, we end up making a mental list about our beloved…

• Honest
  
• Inteligent honest
  
• Hard Worker
  
• Beautiful Smile!
  
• Irreproachable
  
• Kind
  

During this phase the list are generally pretty long… the more we think about our beloved, the more we appreciate him/her.

But generally with marriage, we not only discover qualities- we also see flaws and we then proceed to create yet another mental list. The thing is that this time we forget all about the qualities and focus solely on the flaws.

• Selfish
  
• Insensitive
  
• Proud
  
• Slow
  
• Foolish
  

These lists also tend to be quite long, right?

During the early phases of our relationship, a great deal of us prefer to center on the qualities and don’t give much mind to the flaws, then after marriage we are startled and allege...

“He isn’t the same anymore!”

This generally isn’t the case. He was always like that; perhaps you were so elated with the prospect of marriage that you didn’t stop to doublethink it.

At this stage of our Dare, we are going to revive our little list of qualities- he needs to know that you appreciate him!

Dare- Task #7

“On two pieces of paper, you will make two lists (one on each paper.)

On the first paper, spend some time writing down the qualities and virtues that your spouse possesses.

On the other sheet of paper you will make a list of your spouse’s flaws. Take both of these papers and store them in a secret place (we will use them later, there is a special purpose for each list.)

During the rest of the day, choose one of the qualities you wrote on the list and at an appropriate time, you will thank your spouse for possessing the said virtue.

(Based on the book Love Dare).

Love Dare - Day 6 - Be loving

Day 6: Be Loving

For many people this task will not be easy, nonetheless it is extremely important. 

We live in a world where time is a luxury, everything is rushed, there is not time to waste and we are ruled by the infamous “stress.”

With such a frantic lifestyle it’s common to see couples drifting apart and treating one another with extreme irritation but everything comes down to a decision…

 

Love Dare- Task #6

“You are going to decide! Look here, this is not a matter of circumstances… Today you are going to decide to react in a loving manner, no matter what situation your marriage is in. You will need to stop and think before reacting… Reacting in an irritated and aggressive manner will transmit “negative energy” to your spouse who will in turn retaliate with the same the same behavior.”

(Based on the book Love Dare.)

 

I believe that this will be one of the most difficult tasks because the last thing we want to do when we are angry is stop to think. Nevertheless, how many times do we end up regretting our actions after reacting hastily while upset?

 

I am not saying that you should put up a guise, on the contrary, you should indeed act wisely and that may imply that during the heat of an argument your best defense is to stay silent.

 

My advice to you is to keep a glass of water near at all time, if worst comes to worst just fill your mouth up with water!

 

Most times great part of your irritability is due to the lifestyle you sustain. See what can be changed…

Set aside some time to unwind and relax.

Exercise.

Pick up a hobby.

Even walk around the shopping center!

These are only some examples… Analyze your life today and DECIDE!

Love Dare - Day 5 - Don't be easily irritable

Folks forgive me for being redundant, but today I was speaking to a lady about how to treat her husband…

Look at what God has revealed to me while I was counseling her…

When you pray and speak with God you make use of extreme reverence: My Lord; My Beloved; Oh, Lord Jesus!

You proceed with upmost respect.

 

But what good is it if when you speak to your husband (who represents Jesus), you don’t even think twice and before you know it….

 

“Shut up!”

“Quit annoying me!”

“Get out of here!”

“You’re a nuisance!”

 

And the list goes on…

I know that many marriages aren’t easy, but do you think these words help?

Perhaps you’ve been seeking to establish a relationship with God for so long but you see no results. You always feel so distant and empty… weak….

 

Make it a point to change this friend- even if you feel your husband doesn’t deserve your respect… the Lord Jesus deserves it!

 

If you want changes in this marriage, don’t wait for him to change… Start changing yourself.

Love Dare – Task 5

 

During this week, choose a good time and ask your husband 3 things that make him to feel uncomfortable or irritable with you. Do not get irritated or try to justify yourself. Only listen!

From then on start a plan of action to change those things that bother him so much.