Wednesday, 11 January 2012

She makes Herself as the Victim...

Hi Mrs. Nanda, 

I would like your help because my situation is that my mother is an assistant and I'm not, however, I make an effort to do things right but all she can do is criticize me. 

When I say something, she begins to paint herself as the victim and makes me feel like the worst daughter in the world. If she orders me to do 10 things and I only do 9 (due to lack of time), she always says that I didn't do anything. Because of that I get really upset, for the devil uses it against me a lot to make me feel bad and think that I'm not a good daughter. 

Gosh, she only sees the bad things. It seems as though I don't have any qualities. Not to mention that she always makes it very clear that she doesn't believe in me. Please help me, this has
hindered me a lot and what's worse is that my sister is also an assistant and the same thing happens with her but she is able to deal with the situation better than me. Please counsel me. 

My dear, 

A good question.... Who is wrong in this situation?


I'm only hearing your side of the story and your mother certainly has her 
side too. 
There's no doubt that she has her reasons but the truth is that you are not very 
worried in understanding her reasons, is that right?

According to your point of view, she is wrong. According to her 
point of view, you are wrong. 

One thing is for sure my friend, your mom doesn't want what is worse 
for you. 

If she has been complaining, she must have her motives...right or wrong, 
she has them...

And there's more, perhaps in your opinion you are giving your "best" 

in you chores, but for your mom that isn't good enough... How about 
striving to be even better??

What if out of the 10 things she asked you, the one thing you didn't do 
was indeed the one she wanted you to do?

You say that she makes herself the victim... Forgive me if you are 
going to be saddened by what I'm about to say right now but I 
think that this is a bit disrespectful and in reality you paint yourself 
as a victim throughout the whole email... It isn't very pleasant to hear that, 

I can just imagine your attitude, words and even your body language in 
front of your mother... you need to respect her friend. 

You are not a bad daughter, those thoughts are being placed by the devil 
and not your mother. 

You just need to reevaluate your actions and change, that way 
your mother will also change. You can also be sure of that!


* Help out more with household chores;
* Do things without needing your mother to ask;
* When you've finished doing something, ask if it's alright and 
if it isn't (without making a sour face) do it again until she approves. 
* Talk to your mother and tell her how you have been feeling;
* Even if you are tired, help her where she needs a hand. You are 
not going to die, you can be sure of that;
* Try to understand your mother, think about the 
responsibilities and problems that she faces 
and be understanding;
* Invite your mother to pray with you every evening or morning;

After you put these tips into practice, everything is going to change 

for the better!

Send us an update, ok?!

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