Monday, 8 November 2010

Mistake 3

... Continuation of Task #40 for the Single Ladies

3. She is afraid.

This is a very important factor because fear in itself is already a very negative thing that leads us to desperate measure and in a relationship it’s fatal!

Fear comes in various forms:

  • - Fear of being betrayed.

Only those who have experienced this know how painful it can be. It’s terrible and can leave deep scars engraved in a person.

If a woman has been betrayed and isn’t on the lookout, the feelings that the betrayal leave behind can be passed on from one relationship to another. Even if her current boyfriend hasn’t done anything wrong, she holds the fear that he will betray her.

This fear makes her insecure; thus her actions can be unnerving…

· She constantly calls him to check where he is, with whom and what he’s doing!

· She constantly tests him to see if she can scoop out information.

· She is very jealous.

· She wants to know everything he’s done, does and will do; in short, she wants to be aware of his every move.

Actions like these, without moderation, can suffocate the other person and do you know what ends up happening?

“What I feared has come upon me” remember Job?

Friends, I tell you this from my own experience. Only God could cure my battered heart and help me change my insecure attitude.

If this change doesn’t occur in you, then you will never have a healthy relationship.

  • · Fear of being alone.

If fear is not caused by betrayal, then it could come from the thought of being alone. That is certainly something that no one wants!

What generally ends up happening is that the person accepts whatever comes her way. She leaves her principles aside and many times even abandons her faith.

The guy is the opposite of everything she ever wanted but the fear of being alone makes her settle and accept everything- even the fact that he doesn’t share her same faith!

He says “Sit!” and she sits! He says “Stand up!” and she stands up! He says “I don’t want you to go to that church anymore!” and surely she obeys!

This is merely an example that came to mind but the fact is that she accepts whatever comes; she lost her “quality control,” if you know what I mean...

  • · Fear of time passing.

If she is in a relationship, she begins thinking about her biological clock and so the pressure begins:

* When will we get married?

* When will I meet your parents?

* When are you going to make up your mind?!

And the list goes on…

Friends, I’m not saying that the desire to get married and everything else shouldn’t exist but having to pressure him about something that should flow naturally is clearly a sign!

If he doesn’t make a decision, do you think that pressuring him all the time will help? Take action!

How long will you let him play with you?!

  • · Fear of the future.

The famous thought: “You’re going to become an old maid” attacks!

This insecurity or fear makes you anxious and nothing is worse than living in anxiety.

Your actions are uncertain and you become needy and dependent.

Don’t miss out tomorrow for the conclusion of our final task!!!

2 comments:

  1. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." I loved following these posts; they have helped me greatly.

    ReplyDelete

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