For the Single Ladies - Sweet smelling success!

Task #26 for the Single Ladies

I’ll tell you this, there are few things worse than a woman who smells bad.

I know that many times we leave home really early and there’s no such thing as a bath or even deodorant that can survive the heat of over 30 degrees!

So what must we do then?

It’s very simple; if you are one of these fighters who leave the house really early and only returns at night, then you need to adopt some habits so that you will always smell lovely… And those around you will be very grateful!

After all, you never know when or where you will meet your “prince charming!”

Imagine if you are caught unaware and he comes along – you being all worried about the state of your hair, lift your arms to fix it and BOOOM!

…He falls back and dies!

So, in order for this not to happen, our hygiene is vital!

My husband adores the fact that I always smell good, in fact, I don’t think any man would want it any other way. Of course there are exceptions to everything, but then he wouldn’t be your ‘Prince Charming’ but your ‘Charming Goat’…

So, let’s have a look at my tips:

• Use a neutral deodorant! At all costs, avoid those that smell really strong. They only smell good for the first two hours and then mix with your sweat to release an odor that nobody deserves!

• Always carry a neutral deodorant in your bag.

• Buy a neutral soap and keep it in a small plastic container in your bag.

• Put a small bottle of perfume in your bag.

• Buy a small packet of wet wipes – you know, the ones that are used to clean a baby’s bottom. For those times when there’s no bathroom, you can use them to freshen up your face. In fact, they are really useful and should always be in your bag. You can use also use them to clean your hands, or even your bottom! It’s not only babies who deserve this kind of care!

• At least twice a day, go to the bathroom and freshen up. Clean your face and under your arms with the neutral soap. Then put on the neutral deodorant and top up with a little perfume.

Ps: The tip about your deodorant being neutral is also important because it doesn’t have a strong smell and so won’t conflict with your perfume. Remember that deodorant is not perfume; the aim isn’t for everyone to smell what deodorant you are wearing or for it to mix with your perfume. Nobody deserves that either!

If you use a strong smelling perfume, please don’t take a bath in it!

Otherwise when you pass by you’ll leave people sneezing!

I’ll give you a personal suggestion…

My day-to-day perfume is one that’s meant for babies. For those who cannot afford to be buying those expensive perfumes, this is a great option and even if you do take a bath in it, you won’t make an embarrassing faux pas because it’s mild and lovely!

Okay, so here’s my secret…

The perfume is called: “Giovanna Baby”, it’s not expensive and if I remember correctly, you can find it in most American shops. The one with the blue lid is my favorite! My mother-in-law knows that whenever someone travels to where she is in Brazil, she always picks up a few bottles for me…

Come on girls, lets always smell gorgeous!

You’re future ‘prince’ will thank you for it!

For the Single Ladies- The Eyes

Task #25 for the Single Ladies

I remember when I was in London, a friend of mine received an email that horrified me, from a lady in the church.

This email drew many wrong conclusions; the woman was criticizing her for spending floods of money on hair extensions.

People, her hair was natural!! She’d never used extensions before.

This friend of mine had a family that was blessed financially, and so was always receiving presents in the post from her mother who would also send things through other wives. And just as you would with your family, she shared them out amongst us also.

But in this email, everything was seen with bad eyes. It was judgment after judgment. Those words showed how much the lady had been poisoned and was even rotting because of her bad eyes and judgments.

Now I ask, “How many times have we done the same?” Looking and judging other people.

If she dresses nice, then she’s stuck-up. If she dresses bad then she’s a ragamuffin!

When you don’t see the pastor’s wife in the church often, you judge her without realizing how hard she works with other responsibilities – whether it’s cooking for the auxiliaries or spending all day in the church office.

Or that person who stays in her corner because she is so shy but gets accused of being snobbish.

Our eyes and wrong judgments make us rot from within. We end up being like that fruit that looks really nice on the outside but when you bite into it, it’s all rotten and you just want to throw it away.

This is an evil that mainly ‘attacks’ women, because we have this thing about making hasty conclusions and then we end up making wrong judgments that are harmful to our spiritual health.

Task #25

Today you will analyze and see if your eyes are judging certain people. Friend, this only makes things bad for you. Clean your vision!

When you feel your eyes looking to the side, turn and look at yourself instead – look at your own defects and fight to change them. Whenever I’m busy with myself, then I don’t have time to look at others and make wrong judgments.

For the Single Ladies - Little Red Riding Hood

Task #24 for the Single Ladies

My friends, I’m sure you’re all tired of hearing this but I’m going to repeat it anyway: “Not everything that glitters is gold.”

In the same manner, not everything is what it seems.

When it comes to getting involved with someone, it is very important to remember something so obvious that is often forgotten by many…

Even inside the church you can find loads of “wolves in sheep's clothing" and they are in search of Little Red Riding Hood.

Pure, sincere young ladies with an open heart –– beware of the big bad wolf!

It doesn’t matter who he is: a church member, an assistant, assistant pastor or pastor.

It is your duty (no one else’s) to find out if he is a wolf in disguise or a true lamb. The fact that he has a title is not a guarantee; you need to know who he is for real and verify that he isn’t just pretending.

I receive innumerous amounts of e-mails from young ladies who got carried away by the wolves and now find themselves suffering.

Task #24

“It is time for us to grow up and see things as they really are. If you are interested in someone, you must first get to know him. By this I don’t mean what he says about himself, but especially what his family has to say about him or what his friends say. It is important to test him to see if he is truly a lamb.

And please, don’t be naïve to fall in love before ever really getting to know him.

In fact, that is nothing more than pure emotion.

Be intelligent my friends, your love life can take time to be complete but when you find the right person, your happiness will be for always!

A true delight!

It’s worthwhile to wait and to choose wisely!”

For the Single Ladies- The piece of black bean

Task #23 for the Single Ladies

It was supposed to be a very important conference, so I got ready for it with such care…

I arrived very early, sat in the first row with pen and notepad in hand; I wanted to take note of everything I could so as not to forget. I was full of expectations…

And then, he arrives and with his first smile I lost myself!!!

He had a large piece of a black bean between his teeth!

I wanted to pay attention, but that piece of black bean kept playing hide-and-seek. He smiled, it appeared. He was serious, it disappeared. It appeared. It disappeared.

All of my plans came tumbling down! I can’t remember anything that he said!

The same thing happens at church and usually when the pastor is preaching, have you noticed how babies suddenly start to cry?

Many years ago I watched a film called “Demons in the Temple,” at the time the film was already pretty old, but very insightful.

It showed how demons work inside of the church during the most important moment of the service – that is during the explanation of the Word, irritating children so that they cry and bring all sorts of thoughts to the minds of the adults to distract them.

Task #23

“Fighting against distractions in church is fundamental for spiritual growth, for if you let yourself go, it won’t be long before you begin to feel distant from God.

Something that helps me a lot is to carry a pen and notepad with me because I jot down everything that calls my attention and wish to remember or reread.”

Of course, in the case of the piece of black bean, not even having a pen and notepad helped! lol

For the Single Ladies- The Pink Panther

If there's one thing I hate about myself, it’s that I often find it hard to think quickly and give accurate, on-the-spot answers.

I’m constantly saying to myself... "Gosh, I could have said that!" "I could have answered in that way!" "Oh, I should have said so!"

But what good is that when the moment has already passed?!

Junior is a rare treasure! I think he’s tops! Not only for being my husband, but I admire this aspect about him too.

I often say that he is the "Pink Panther", he always finds a way out – he can come up with an answer for everything, it’s amazing!

I remember one day we were evangelizing on the streets of London. We usually choose a spot and stay there all Saturday, praying for people and inviting them to church.

For me, it’s a fight, especially when people come and want to get into debates…

"You believe this, but I believe that!" "You say so, but I say it's no!"

During one of these times I was praying and asking God to put the right words in my mouth, when a man came along and started a debate with Junior:

"You’re here doing all this and being restricted in a life that you no longer enjoy. Look, I do everything; I enjoy this life because we all go to the same place when we die. This business of heaven and hell was invented by religions to restrict us! Be smart! "

Look at the response of Junior the Pink Panther. I stood there open-mouthed!...

"Look, I realize that you are a very intelligent man, so let's talk about probabilities. Do you see that beautiful woman over there?” (He pointed at me, how embarrassing!)

“That’s my wife; we have been married for over 10 years, I am happy and lack nothing. When I put my head on the pillow, sleep comes straight away because I have peace! I'm so happy; I’m healthy and have no addictions!

The point of all this is that if you're right, and when we die we all go to the same place, then I’ve not missed out on anything because I’ve got a happy life."

"Yes," replied the gentleman in a very attentive and thoughtful manner.

"Now what if I’m right: when I die, I'll go to a very good place and you to another. I’ll still be happy in the very good place but what about you?"

The man stared into thin air for some minutes without answering anything...

"Man, you’ve made me think ..." he replied.

After that he opened up and said he lived a very unhappy life, he wants to quit smoking and drinking and he is deeply in debt.

I stood there with my mouth open feeling useless.

I'm still not like the "Pink Panther", but do try to be bolder when speaking about Jesus to people. I don’t stutter or become shy.

Task #19

"Be bold, use intelligence and be a" Pink Panther." That goes for me too. We have to practice it every day!"

For the Single Ladies- Miss Know it all

Task#21 for the Single Ladies

Generally everything she says begins with “Do you know…”

Do you know who the new pastor is?

Do you know who I saw?

Do you know what I heard?

Do you know who’s over there?

Usually she is the person who knows about everything that is going on; she can’t keep anything to herself - leave alone a secret!

If someone asks you something you don’t know, immediately you direct them to her: “Look, I don’t know but surely “so and so” knows.”

She’s always up-to-date with everything that is happening, not just in her church but also in the other branches. She even knows what’s going on in the churches in other countries and she makes it a point to demonstrate that she knows everything.

She loves it when people approach her to ask her things, but there’s one thing she doesn’t know…

She is not well looked upon; she has the reputation for being a gossip, she is indiscreet and many times used by everyone to obtain information.

It is important to note that the information that the “know it all” possesses is not constructive, rather it’s more along the lines of “he said, she said.”

Many times she isn’t ill-intentioned, she feels happy to be of use. She likes the attention she receives with so many people approaching her wanting to know things.

Today we are going to discuss a few factors so that we don’t become known as a “gossiper” or a “know it all.”

Task #21

Avoid spreading news that you hear - things along the lines of:

Did you hear that we are going to have a new pastor!

Did you hear that bishop “so and so” will move?

Did you hear that in such and such church this is happening?

Did you hear that “so and so” likes you?

Did you hear that there will be changes?

If you were informed of something, and this information is not constructive, don’t spread it. If you find that this information requires action, then speak to someone who can solve the problem and no one else.

When someone confides something personal in you, don’t go about telling other people. Generally you will say something like this… “If I tell you something, do you promise you won’t tell anyone?” That doesn’t work, believe me.

When you find out some hot gossip, let it cool! Stick it in the freezer, in other words, don’t tell anyone. Your tongue may itch but it will pass.

When you pass on information always ask: Is this piece of information constructive or destructive? Will it add or subtract? Will it help or not?

Depending on your answers you will know if you should pass it on or stick it in the freezer.

The discreet woman puts this into practice… how about you? Are you discrete or indiscrete?

For the Single Ladies- When you become a toilet

Task #20 for the Single Ladies

There was time in my life, a moment in which I had to learn to stop being a toilet.

That’s right, a toilet!

Think with me, what is a toilet used for?

To dispose that which is not of use inside us: vomit, number 1 and number 2.

And do you know what these things have in common?

They all smell badly!

So, one day I realized that I had become a toilet where people disposed all that was rotten inside of them.

They would come and make negative comments about other people, gossip and speak wrongfully.

That affected me greatly, for I began to have bad eyes towards people. Many times I didn’t even know that person, but if someone came and said something about them, I wouldn’t even think twice before looking at them with negative eyes.

I realized that all of the filth that was being poured onto me was beginning to make me “stink.”

I thought “I’m becoming weak in my faith due to these things, but what should I do?!”

How about you my friend, have you been a toilet? Are you also stinky?

Here go some tips to help you to avoid this…

Task #20

Avoid establishing a friendship with gossipers.

When a “friend” begins to make negative comments about another person, before she even starts, stop her. Tell her that it isn’t right and you don’t want to hear it.

In certain cases when you perceive rebellious comments against an authority, don’t think twice. Denounce that person even if she is your best friend. She is not well and needs help.

After some time I obtained a certain reputation as being strict and as a consequence the gossip and evil comments stopped!

You know what else?

I couldn’t care less about such a reputation!

Many times when I was an assistant, if I entered the room the conversation ended.

The other day someone told me that the same thing was happening to her and do you know what my response was?

"How marvelous!!"

Now, no one will make a toilet of you!

You can always smell nicely!

For the Single Ladies- Be Wise

Task #19 for the Single Ladies

The other day something revolted me so much that it made me cry!

A young girl who is part of the Youth Group, participates in the meetings, is changing her lifestyle in order to please God, was heading to church early in the morning when she was cornered and raped.

When I found out, I was in shock - I couldn’t believe it. This can’t be! How could this happen?

When something like this happens we normally end up questioning it: My God how could this happen to her? Why? Why? Why?

That’s right; we even get to the point of questioning God!

It’s interesting that when good things happen, generally, it is not attributed to God! Many are not even thankful to Him.

After coming to know a bit more about what had happened, I decided that this was a topic that I should bring to your attention.

This young girl lives in a slum and she had left her home very early to participate in the 6 o’clock service. It was very dark and she was by herself in a dangerous place!

Nothing justifies rape, but girls we must be wise!

Being vigilant is very important!

Task #19

Here are a few tips for you young ladies:

• If you are going to stay for a vigil, never go back home alone. Always plan to be accompanied by someone.

• By all means avoid staying in church till very late at night if you are unaccompanied.

• If the Youth Group meetings end late or are scheduled at a time that may be dangerous for you, speak to your pastor in order to find a solution. It is not a sin to talk to your pastor about this.

• Never think that by mentioning this to your pastor you will be demonstrating a lack of faith. On the contrary, ignoring the danger and risking yourself demonstrates a faith without intelligence.

• Never accept a ride from a stranger - even if this person goes to the church.

Girls, be wise!!!

For the Single Ladies- I’m not in the Mood

Task #18 for the Single Ladies

How many times do we catch ourselves saying, "I'm not in the mood"?

Yesterday, a young girl that I’ve been counseling came to talk with me.

I hadn’t seen her in the church meetings and asked her what happened…

She said: “Nanda, I haven’t been in the mood to come to church.”

Now, let me ask you a question…

When are we ever in the mood to do something that will benefit us?

Benefits require effort and sacrifice!

Generally, people don’t study out of pleasure.

Have you ever heard someone say “Oh, I’m in such a mood to study!!!”

Our body, our will, is always directed towards resting.

You have the desire to sleep a lot, you desire to watch TV the entire day, you desire going to the beach every day, your will is to do nothing at all.

You don't desire to help out around the house…. You desire, desire, desire…

We have to pay close attention to what we desire because our will cannot dictate our life!

Every day, one way or another, I go against my will and that’s what blesses me - the battle against my will!

You must also live this struggle because no one can do it for you!

If you cut back on the amount of times you go to church, then you will want to go less and less!

So what?!

Don’t listen to your desire!

Send your will far, far away and go to church even if you’re not in the mood!

There are also days that I don’t want to do anything; nonetheless, I do everything I have to do even if I’m not in the mood. We must live by our faith, not by our will.

Doing this will make a great difference in all aspects of your life, especially your spiritual life.

Task #18

“Analyze your actions, your life, and see if you’ve been living by your will. Seek to go against your will, do whatever it is you’re not in the mood to do - most times that is what will bless you.

You’re not in the mood to wake up at dawn to pray? You’re not in the mood to read the Bible? You’re not in mood to pray? You’re not in the mood to fast? You’re not in the mood to go to church?

You know what to do!”

For the Single Ladies- Let’s take a Trip…

Task #17 for the Single Ladies

Let’s go on an imaginary trip together.

Well then, I’ll create a scenario and you have to imagine yourself in it.

I’ll include lots of images so you really feel you are there…

Let’s say you received a ticket for a cruise to the Caribbean as a gift!

The captain of the ship is a friend of your father and he invited you aboard first class free of charge (of course!)

Oh girls, how delightful! Imagine what joy!!!

So, you prepare yourself for this day: new clothing, sunglasses, bikini, etc… The day finally comes. You arrive at the port and notice how gigantic the ship is…

Look at the color of the water, how marvelous!!!

Very well, you enter the ship and decide to take a look around…

It’s amazing! It doesn’t feel like you’re in a ship! It looks like a shopping mall (just another reason to like it even more!)

You become more and more amazed as you look around, the stairs, there are even some trees! Oh, and what beautiful music is playing downstairs… What a good life! You can’t wait to see your room…

Since this is a “dream” trip, none of that being cheap business, we are going all out…

It’s time for you to see your suite. You go down the steps, enter a long corridor and the last door has your number on it: Suite #12.

You open the door and you can hardly believe your eyes…

Unbelievable!!!

You walk in, throw your purse on the floor and toss yourself on the comfortable couch!

What a nice dream!!! lol

You sit and begin to look around imagining where your room could be and only then do you notice the beautiful stairway!

You decide to go up the steps to see if your bedroom is up there. You then notice the terrace outside with magnificent views of the sea… You make a mental note to watch the sunset on that lovely terrace.

You continue walking up the steps when finally you reach your room… what a room! (A bit over the top for my taste, but I couldn’t find a better one, so let’s pretend it’s amazing…)

Folks, how delightful! You jump onto the super soft bed!!!

You close your eyes for a few seconds and decide to take in each minute.

You jump out of bed, open the wardrobe and your clothing is already hanging neatly (oh, what a dream!!!) because the chambermaid prepared everything while you were checking out the inside of the ship!

You decide to visit the pool take a swim and take advantage of the rest of the day. You grab your clothes, run to the bathroom which is also a dream, with hydro-massage and all.

Once you’re ready, you go down the steps, grab the purse you had thrown on the floor and head to the pool.

On your way there, you bump into other people and wonder at all of the beauty surrounding you…

Ok, you turn around and continue in direction to the pool.

This is one of the three pools the ship contains; therefore, it isn’t crowded…

You spot an empty chair to your right, you leave your purse, take of your sandals and dress and decide to go for a swim…

Ohhh, how delightful! The water is perfect! The people decide to get out of the pool and so you have it all to yourself!!!

You swim and swim until you can’t anymore. You’re tired and decide to rest on your chair while tanning in the sun…

You’re startled from your nap as someone shakes you. You open your eyes and see your father’s friend, the captain. He has a worried expression as he says:

“Put on your clothes quickly, we have to get out of here. The ship is going to sink!” (To this my friend Raphaela would say… “A poor man’s dream could only end like this!”)

“How about my things, I have to go get them.” you respond.

He stops, looks at you in the eyes and says “There is no time, the ship is sinking and we don’t have enough safety boats for everyone. I need to get you in one before it is too late! Your father would never forgive me if something happened to you! Let’s go, we need to hurry!”

You run behind him and say “I know how to swim, perhaps it’s better to leave the boats for those that can’t …”

“You wouldn’t survive. These waters are infested with sharks, we don’t have much time! I don’t think many people will survive!” What a nightmare!

You look at the life boat and you can’t believe how small it is!

The captain puts you in it and says that he must help others. He says that he has a boat for himself and the rescue team will surely find you… Y

ou move away from the ship using the oar that he has given you.

You realize that it’s already night time.

After rowing for approximately 15 minutes, you look at the ship and can’t believe what you see…

It’s unbelievable! How could something like that happen so fast?!

You can see other boats, they are crowded and yours is empty, only you.

You can hear the people in the water screaming, pure despair!

They plead for help!

They ask for the love of God, but you don’t do anything. You are relieved to be safe. You are happy that the captain knew you and that you are there in your boat safe and sound!

From afar you can hear the yelps of pain. “It must be the sharks…” you think.

So much crying, so much yelling! You cover your ears and close your eyes. You don’t want to hear, you don’t want to see.

There is room in your boat for at least 10 people, but you don’t want to think about that. You decide to row and get far away from the screaming…

You are happy to be safe…

Let’s stop the dream right here…

Are you horrified???!!!! Do you think you’d never do something like that?

So, I ask you:

When was the last time you spoke to someone about Jesus?

When was the last time you extended your hand outside of the boat and pulled someone into the boat?

Those that don’t have Jesus are being devoured every minute…

And you? Are you only thinking about your own life?

Are you rowing way, not wanting to hear the cries for help?

Task #17

“You are going to speak about Jesus to the maximum number of people possible. On this Sunday you will bring one person (into the boat) to church.

But, be wise not religious! You are going to guide this person, sit with her, take her to speak with the pastor and do whatever else is necessary.”

Make it a habit to extend your hands….Don’t be afraid, your boat is gigantic and it can fit an infinite number of people…

For the Single Ladies- What’s in Your Head?

Task #16 for the Single Ladies

You don’t feel like you used to… it a horrible sensation. You want to go back to how you used to be at the beginning but you can’t seem to get there. Sometimes you even question whether God still wants you or really loves you.

You want to be more spiritual, you want to feel God’s presence, but you don’t know where you’ve gone wrong. You feel so far!

You go to church, you want to pray but the words seem to disappear…

You don’t feel the desire to pray or read the Bible.

You try to do everything right, you don’t live in sin, so what is wrong?!

Of course this can be due to many reasons, but I bet I know what is going on…

What have you been filling your head with?

Have you dedicated lots of time to things that have nothing to do with God?

• Do you watch hours and hours of TV every day?
• Do you spend time on the internet participating in chats that will take you nowhere?
• Perhaps, you hold friendships with people who don’t share your same faith and consequently turn your focus to worldly things?

If you answered yes to these questions, then that is the reason why you feel the way you do.

Task #16

“It’s time to change this picture… Begin by cutting back on the hours you spend watching TV and chatting online.

Preferably, avoid that MSN business altogether as it is a waste of time.

Begin to invest in your spiritual life. Use the hours that you spare to meditate in God’s Word, start purposes with God, read a book that will add something to your spiritual life.

Think of other ways to change this situation.”