Monday, 11 January 2010

Love Dare - Day 28 - Know When to Advance and Retreat

Dear friends, we must use our intelligence for and in everything - our marriage is not an exception.

Did you know that the devil isn’t dumb? On the contrary, he is quite astute (oh, how angry that makes me!)

He uses all sorts of tactics to try to weaken and destroy us, which is why we must make use of the marvelous gift (intelligence) that God gave us!

You can never forget that you’re in a war! It’s not against your husband but against the devil himself.

There are situations in which you need to decide whether to advance or retreat.

War tactics indeed!

I’ll give you an example:

One day you are all pretty and perfumed waiting for your husband to arrive, exactly like we discussed in one of the previous tasks.

He arrives. You run to greet him with hugs and kisses when suddenly you feel a bucket of cold water splashing over you!

He totally ignores you and heads straight for the room! You feel mortified! Devastated!

You think to yourself… “I can’t be the problem! I didn’t do anything to deserve this! He’d better give me an explanation.”

Ok, we’ll pause the film right here.

Let’s go back to our intelligent war tactics!

When we women have a problem we like to talk about it, unburden ourselves… That’s why our friends generally know everything that happens to us. After unburdening ourselves we feel better and alleviated, capable of going on.

Our mistake is to think that men are the same. They generally aren’t. Talking about the problem directly affects the male ego. It’s as though they are admitting that they’re weak or not capable, you see?

This is why it’s important to know how to gracefully back off in moments like these.

No sad faces, frowns or tears!

If you don’t change your tactics, my friend, you’ll only make the situation worst.

If you cry he will surely lose his patience and blatantly ignore you or say something hurtful out of anger... you know how it goes right?

If you try: “Darling, are you upset? What happened? Come on, open up to me. Talk to me, spill it! You need to communicate!

My friend this approach won’t work, it’s too much pressure! He’ll explode…

The best tactic is to retreat. Give him some space and try to understand, without taking offense of course!

This is intelligent… you will give him the space he needs without being clingy.

Afterwards, check out the terrain- if it’s clear then feel free to advance, if not then maintain yourself in your post.

All of this must be applied to the spiritual battle, visualizing the devil’s steps and anticipating his next move.

Please note that this is only one example, clearly it can vary.

Verify what tactics you’ve been using and if they haven’t worked, change them. Do things differently.

Dare- Task 28

“You will analyze your tactics, if they’ve been working: advance! If not, retreat and do things differently. Always make use of your spiritual eyes to visualize the tramps and escape them.”


  1. My husband always tells me when he is unhappy with me even though sometimes the truth hurts, this is one of the good things about him, but when something else is bothering him i ask him and he tells me.

    Charlene (Namibia)

  2. Some of them really worked and only few that did not work and I will retreat on them.

  3. i have realized that when this times comes its very difficult for me to keep quiet i always want to make my point clear, so i going to try my best to retreat and be a good wife on this subject.
    Thanks i am learning a lot.

    charlene (namibia)

  4. My day was fine,but this is the most important thing for me to do is to watch and pray every day for the devil not to destroy my married.

    Prayer is the most tactic Am using and by giving my husband space when he is tide, watching him and to lift him up when he is down.

    This is helping me a lot in my married and I believe that I will make a big different in my married.


  5. When moment likes this come sometimes is hard for me to keep my mouth quiet but i will do my best with the help of my God and i believe i will be a helper to him no matter what the situation.thanks


  6. If I see that my husband is angry or not happy and the problem is not with me, He talks to me but if the problem is with me sometimes he keeps quiet and than I have to see a good time for me to talk to Him or say sorry.Eliane Namibia

  7. I will work on it thanks very much and God bless.

    Aina Namibia

  8. I had many situation like that, when my husband is unhappy he is just quiet and then i sometimes ask him, and later iam unhappy. Praise God know i understand. Will use these tactics



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