Monday, 11 January 2010

Love Dare - Day 35 - Inverted Roles

The other day I was speaking with a lady that was going through some marital problems.

She spoke so poorly of her husband. Her biggest problem was that he didn’t help her with the domestic tasks… “He doesn’t wash a single dish, can you believe it?” She asked.

“Do you work outside your home?” I asked.

“No, he works, but I take care of our three kids and that’s not easy!” She answered.

We continued to talk and she told me that he was a good dad and even a good husband but he didn’t move a muscle at home, and that was the biggest problem.

“But what do you expect him to do?” I asked.

“I want him to divide the household chores with me! I want him to help me!”

Please forgive me those of you that share this idea, but I’m going to have to disagree…

He works the whole day, the whole week in order to support his household and when he gets home he still has to divide chores?!

I know that caring for the kids and home is hard work and that husband’s should participate but not to the point of dividing chores.

Nowadays, with modernization and women seeking equality with men, many have completely lost notion of things.

Many wives want to be the head of the relationship. They want to give orders, tell their husbands what they have to do or not do…I have something to tell these ladies: this sort of relationship will not last long.

Don’t intend to invert the natural order of things.

God didn’t creat woman to be the head of a marriage, that’s the man’s role.

I never had marital problems in this respect because ever since I got married I was conscious of my position in the relationship.

Even when I work in the office from 9 to 5, I don’t expect my husband to divide household chores with me, the simple thought of it sounds absurd to me!

In the case of the lady that I mentioned in the beginning, she will not be happy in her marriage until she changes her way of thinking, not because I say so, but because that’s the way God intended it to be.

Dare- Task 35

“Analyze your attitude in regards to your husband and see if you’ve been inverting roles. If you perceive that this is happening, change your actions and you will see a huge difference!”


  1. In those few first months of my marriage, the tasks and fulfillments of my marriage were not easy because most of the the things were new to me in order for me to learn but even though it was like that I undertoond that God didn't give me the right at all to devide chores tasks with my husband but the bible only says that I will be his suitable helper.If I was keeping on waiting for him to do some tasks for me, I would just waste my time of waiting because he has his own tasks to fulfill outside.Of cause he can do some tasks at home if that day he wants to surprise his wife but not as his obligation.

  2. As a wife is my duty to take of my husband, if he wants to help me with my chores it's up to him but i don't have to make it a burden for him to help me.

    charlene (namibia)

  3. This is the most thing that my mother spoke to me that Is my duty to serve my husband day and night with my whole heart as a wife and never to bring her name to shame if I was not well timed,In the bible we are told to respect our husband, is not that we never heard or been told but is because we don't want to now our place in our married.

    I like this verse that "WOMAN ARE CREATED IN THE GLORY OF MAN AND MAN WERE CREATED TO GLORIFY GOD".This means that I'm a man helper and there is no a single day it spouse to cross a woman maid to desire a husband to kook or to help with the house work.

    Yes! it seem that it is hard but if we humble our self and do what is aspect from us we will love to do our job because its already in our blood there is no need of training but to work hard.


  4. What i can say is that it cannot even close my mind to tell my husband for me to share house work with him as a woman God has give us family to take care for us to be helper to our husband.


  5. I love to do the chores in my house and sometimes my spouse want to help,but i am always the one that say no i will do i just relax.If i share the chores with him,its like sharing it with Jesus.

    Aina Namibia

  6. I can never imagine telling my husband to wash the dishes, i believe as women is our duty to work in the house. Men are outside and woman inside.



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